The worst date in life

In a blind date, there is something very intriguing. You understand that your fears are not any stronger than your hopes, you paint in your head your portrait of the ideal woman with all the details and hope that she will wait for you at a table in a cafe. In my case, it should have been a pretty, well-groomed, young girl, slightly taller than the middle with a slim figure and long straight hair. What a sin to hide, like any man, I love with my eyes and hands, of course, appearance for me is the prevailing factor in acquaintance. Since I now hold a fairy tale about the ideal, then the inner world should not yield to the external appearance: pleasant in communication, with interesting hobbies, but most importantly - who can tactfully flirt with a man, in my opinion, this is called charm. In general, I'm a complete visionary, believing in a miracle and always bet on a number in the hope of breaking a big jackpot.

With such dreams and thoughts, I turned on a date, I chose the place, it was a small cozy cafe in the center. I bought a bunch of trivial flowers, cleaned my shoes and pulled on an American smile. I somewhere heard that after the first five minutes of communication the girl realizes whether she likes her boyfriend and whether she wants to continue, in my case it happens somehow strangely, either I understand this during the first seconds, or only after the first intima.

After 5 seconds, I realized that the girl is not my type. There was something repulsive and mysterious in her, maybe that in her 20s she looked at all 30, or maybe this insane look. But like any decent and educated gentleman, I believe that what has begun must be brought to the end and a lady should be given at least the memory of a pleasant and laid-back date. My beautiful companion was Alisa. Alice was obviously nervous, in order to smooth out this atmosphere, I offered to drink an aperitif, the lady was not against, after a couple of glasses I suddenly felt like a psychoanalyst. It turned out that just a month ago the girl left the psychiatric clinic.

This cute creature had a long meeting with the guy and it was going to the wedding. It should be noted that, according to Alice, her boyfriend liked fatty people, it turned out that Alice was a poet's dream six months ago - a young, flaming pussy, but after the incident described below her life turned over and she threw off half of her body weight. The story is rather banal, she caught her boyfriend on treason, a fight began, Alice grabbed a knife and stabbed her lover, as she repents inadvertently. After this confession I felt somehow uncomfortable, I began to squint at the cutlery ... I immediately remembered the children's saying: "Do not be afraid of knife, fear forks: one blow - four holes." Alice was forcibly sent for treatment, she returned to life a healthy and normal person and now wants to start all over again. I sincerely respect these people and share their aspirations. Alice apparently felt my disposition and then started something that never happened to me. The girl began to twitch on the couch and move slightly in my direction, I kept the calmness of the rock, her hand on my hip, - I'm terribly embarrassed. Alice made a trot and tried to suck my lips, like a ripe tomato, then I could not stand it, jumped up and ran to the toilet, quietly paid off and quickly retreated ... only his heels sparkled in the dark.