True college stories I experienced

The following are all true stories that happened during my time in residence (If you are American, dormitory).

1. It was House Meeting time. This is basically just everyone in res coming together to drink and listen to the leaders of the residence talk about stuff. There was this one guy, Visser, who till this day is the biggest alcoholic I know. He could down a bottle of beer in 2 seconds flat and he was pretty much constantly drunk. So during House Meeting, he got a bit carried away. He drank so much, his skin turned yellow. I don't even know if that is medically possible, but that is what happened. So the guys, worried that his liver has failed, took him to hospital. But they, guys being guys, left him there and came back to rejoin the meeting. About an hour later, Visser came walking through the door, still with his hospital gown on! He escaped from hospital, jogged 4 kilometres in his gown, and started drinking again!!

2. My residence only had single rooms. But apparently, that was more like guidelines than actual rules. You see, when Duitser was in his first year (American is freshman I believe) at res he got a bit carried away. So he didn't pass anything academically and subsequently got kicked out of res. But he liked it so much he decided to stay...in Pat's room. So Duitser and Pat shared a single room for 3 entire years!

3. Every year, we had an event which we called Internationals. It's basically each section of the res gets a nationality and has to prepare food and drink based on their theme. Okay, mostly drinks. And this was always shambles because mixing your drink never ever ends well. And it really didn't end well for this one guy, Ridley. He couldn't keep it down and had to get it out. He decided, for some reason, to throw up out of the window, the third floor window that is. Unfortunately, our head of house was walking beneath that window at the same time. Yes, this really happened. From that year on Internationals was banned for some reason I cannot fathom...

4. Our residence had a pet chicken once. Some mastermind cleverly decided to name him Schnitzel. But you see, chickens are quite loud in the mornings when the sun rises and, if you are hungover, the crowing of a chicken outside your bedroom window is really not what you want to hear. So one morning, after a particularly rough night, the one chap decided enough is enough. Well, I don't want to incriminate him by saying he kicked the chicken to its death because that would set the SPCA on us...but he did send the chicken flying into the top-left corner of our soccer goalposts. The irony of the matter is that at lunch that day, schnitzel was served...

5. About 6 weeks into the term, just before winter, the seniors shaved the first year's heads, and they have to go to class like this for a day before they get clean shaven. Sorry for the bad quality! But you get the idea...

Hope you enjoyed!