Alone
We wake up.
You make coffee and go straight to work. I struggle for a bit and just sit. I want to make you food, but more often than not I can't.
We can only talk briefly all day. And normally if I can get you to take a break. You still work on your phone. Or want to catch up on news. That's my only real chance.
You go back to work. You say you like when I'm back there. But if I try and talk you get angry and snap.
I go back to sitting alone. It's been over 12 hours and I'm still waiting for you. You come to bed. But just want to read your news. And you snap if I try and talk. So I don't.
You go to sleep. And I'm still alone, just like I've been all day.
I tell you I need you. I beg you to stay. Please. Diamond just died. Please I need you. "I know," you say, pulling away from me "But I've got to work."
You hear me crying. "Are you crying over there." You're annoyed again. "I'm fine."
I continue to cry for 10 minutes as quietly as I can. You've told me in the past you think I do this to start something. Even though I'm only doing it out of sadness. "I miss diamond." "Okay" you don't extend a hand out to me. Did you even look up from your phone? "I'm trying to write about her but can't." "Okay well maybe you should try later." Still no kind gestures, or soft voice. I'm clearly doing this for attention. Sorry for bothering you again.