Stories With Total Strangers - Free Write No. 4
I was ruminating. Sitting in the brewery last night, a pale ale in one hand, ink pen in another, I had started scribbling about how becoming self employed is easier said than done. I was only half listening to the folk band play-- plucking away at their strings in the corner.
I like to bring my laptop and notebook to the coffee shop or the bar to do work. Being surrounded by people is calming to me, even when I'm feeling unsocial. It was one of those nights. Now that I'm single, I feel drawn to public spaces for the pseudo-camaraderie. It keeps me from feeling too alone and is one way to survive a breakup when you have depression.
My mind was far away from the bar around me when suddenly, I man sitting at the table adjacent mine stood up and walked toward me. I didn't notice him until the light from his phone screen right in my face, jolting me out of my train of thought.
"What the hell?"
Was my first thought. But I bit my tongue. What kind of person just walks up to a stranger without saying a word and shows them their phone? I looked up at him, waiting for some kind of explanation, searching his face for a clue of his intentions.
He was a balding man in his 60's, approximately, wearing rounded-rim glasses and a blue bomber jacket. He still had not said a word, but rather, gestured again to his phone with his eyes and his hand. I attribute my reaction to my line of work. As a medical assistant, you learn to read people really quickly, expect the unexpected and exhibit calmness even under the most trying of circumstances.
I looked at his phone, hesitantly. On the screen, there was a series of triangles, squares and circles. It was one of those train-your-brain apps and he was trying to solve this puzzle. I looked from the screen to his face a few times. "Uhhh...." I started to say.
What did this complete stranger want from me?
He looked at me expectedly. His brow furrowed in thought. Something about his demeanor, facial expression and lack of explanation suddenly made sense to me. It suddenly occurred to me that the man was deaf. I looked back at the phone, a little timer on the app said, "56:09..56:10..56:11." He had been trying to solve this puzzle for almost an hour now.
I felt an unexpected sense of urgency on his behalf. We needed to solve this puzzle. I gestured for him to set down the phone and pulled up the chair next to me for him to sit. Nine little shapes.
How hard could it be?
Fifteen minutes later, we still hadn't figured it out. We had exchanged looks of puzzlement and confusion with each other half a dozen times, and bursts of laughter at each failed attempt. We gave up after about 20 minutes. We shared a "thank-you" with each other in sign language (pretty much the only sign I know) and he gathered his things to leave.
I was disappointed that I hadn't been able to help him solve the puzzle. Perhaps even disappointed that I know such little sign language. I wish I had been able to tell him thank you for pulling me out of my own thoughts for a little while. I felt like he had given me a gift of a certain kind, a break from my solitude. All without saying a word.
Photo Credit to ASL University
We open ourselves up to humanity when we have the courage to be alone in a crowded place, or the rashness to approach a complete stranger. I'm beginning to see the beauty in a life without a significant other or a big group of friends. It's a lot less lonely that you might think. Turns out, it's possible to connect with a complete stranger without exchanging a single word. Who knew.
Read more about my experiences with total strangers:
Stories by Naked Strangers - Free Write No. 2
Stories by Naked Strangers - Free Write No. 1