What's fair in love?

Hi everyone, I haven't posted in a while. Thanks to all those who have been reading my posts I really appreciate it.
I will be graduating in 12 days and my ex boyfriend is back.
Three years ago, we started dating. I was in love with all my heart. We had the happiest relationship for a while, then I found out I was just an extra girl. I broke up with him. Few months after, we got back together and I was happy. He was already someone I was actually in love with and even when I "moved on", I was still in love with him.
I can only imagine how stupid I sound.
Well that was the second time and you can guess again that he cheated on me. Again!
Lol.
It's hilarious.
I don't know if it was because I didn't want a body count or because I did not want a situation where I would have to start over.
Sometimes we think terribly like that.
Let me blow up your mind and tell you that after Nine months of being mad at him, he walked right back into my life.
And I accepted him.
This was our third year together in our off/on relationship.
We went on for eleven months and he cheated again.
I left again and on the 14th of February he sent a text. Apparently he wants me back and he is sorry and oh, did I mention that he blamed his cheating habit on "it just happens, I dont mean to hurt you babe but I also don't want you to be guarded with me"
Wow!
Am sorry is he implying that I trust him? Again, again, again?
Really dude?
And for the first time I'm looking at him with tired eyes because I am exhausted with the whole routine and I sincerely want to be happy.
He held my hand and tried to kiss me. I felt sick so I asked him to stop.
He begged me to think about it and now he's up to his mind games where he won't call so I can yearn for him.
It's funny that I have always known all the tricks up his sleeves and I did not mind.
Anyway, while I was trying to get over this last breakup, I did not turn into a whore to feel better about myself.
Neither did I hate men.
I wrote a lot though, when he cheated this last time and deep down inside, I felt weak because I was sure I'd take him if he came back but oh wow, look at me now. 😍.
I guess I wrote him out.
Anyway honey, learn to give yourself time.
Sometimes it seems like we aren't growing at all because we repeat our mistakes but calm down and trust that the universe will direct what you truly deserve to you.
Xoxo😍😍😍😍😍.