Gone Grace: A Tribute to Friendship

I still miss my friend

It was the first semester of our first year at the University. We had come from different parts of the country to study various courses in the University. You know how they say that human beings attract people that share the same attributes.

^{Kachi and I (when she visited my home in Lagos)}

They call it the law of homogeneity or something. Just cut it out, I could have been friends with anyone in the whole school, but somehow I gravitated towards these three girls. They were Grace, Kachi, and Olly.

^{Olly and I about ten years ago}

I don't know what it was that endeared us to each other. Was it the kindness my friends showed to one another and me? Was it their complete and absolute empathy towards me and one another? Perhaps it was their total loyalty. Or was it our shared interests in school? Or maybe it was just because of Grace.

^{Olly and I (last year at a conference)}

Whatever it was that brought us together, I knew then that even before the world began, we were meant to be friends. More that a decade after, I still miss my friend.

How We Met

I met Olly for the very first time at my uncle's residence on the school campus. She was a niece to Dr. Aso who later became the HOD of the Department of Optometry. We were instant friends. Olly was the diplomat. She got along well with everyone even though she was very blunt in expressing her opinions. I, on the other hand, was reserved and reticent. We got along naturally.

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I heard about Kachi before I met her. Another neighbour of my uncle's wanted me to help confirm that the school had offered Kachi a provisional admission. I checked. She was offered admission to study law. I met her three days later. We just went to pay school fees together and ended up spending the whole day together. Until this day, we still enjoy each other's company very much.

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^{Kachi and I (at a beach resort in Lagos)}

Grace

Now, Grace was altogether different. My meeting with my other two friends back in the day was coincidental. There was nothing coincidental about meeting Grace. Kachi had come around to see Olly and me after class. We were seated at a desk, the type where the chairs are attached to the desk, talking. Grace walked in and insisted that Olly created a space for her to sit between her and me.

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In retrospect, we all later found it odd that Olly agreed. Grace was quiet for a minute, and then she joined the conversation quite easily. I think we were talking about Prof Jim oh who preferred to tell stories about his past life in the UK than teach. She joined the conversation quite easily so naturally, Olly and I assumed she was our classmate. She was the kindest, most considerable person I ever knew.

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She told us about her family members - her dad, her mom, her two siblings (Kosi and Kamsi). She lived off campus so she would usually follow Olly and me to our homes which were side by side. Sometimes, she would let us go while she offered to walk Kachi home to her accommodation just outside the school gate. As far as we would recall, Grace never quarrelled with anyone we knew.

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At the end of the semester, Grace called us, and we met at a Fast Food Restaurant on the school campus. There she gave us each a gift. To Olly and I, Grace gave sunshades. To Kachi, she gave a book, The Secret of Santa Vittoria. We felt bad because we did not get her anything. She waved it aside. That day, I needed to go to town and make a withdrawal at the bank. So I offered to follow Grace to her house so I could visit during the holidays.

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She was delighted. We walked to the bus stop and took a bus heading to Ring Road. At Ring Road Roundabout we stepped down from the bus and walked to cross the road before taking a public motorcycle to her house.

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During that time in that part of the country, public motorcycles were a thing, probably because most roads were in disrepair. As we crossed over to the other side of the road, I made it over and looked by my side; Grace was not there.

Gone Grace

I looked all around me, but she was gone. I stood there under the scorching sun of Benin city, searching the faces of the crowd at Ring Road. None of them was Grace. I cannot recall exactly how many minutes I stood there. Finally, I got angry. She should have said no when I suggested going to her place. She didn't have to ditch me that way. Well, I will give her a piece of my mind when next I see her, I thought. I went to the bank and waited until the next time I saw her, but I never did. Neither did Olly and Kachi.

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When I went back to the house, I walked over to Olly's house and told her how Grace had treated me with a fair amount of righteous indignation. Only joined my crusade of telling her off when we saw her next. It was a short holiday. Barely two weeks after we had written our first semester exams, school resumed. Grace did not return.

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After looking for Grace everywhere we used to hang out, we decided we should go to the department and find her next of kin details or any information that could help us find our friend. Our righteous indignation had since died and in its place was a desperate need to see Grace again, to behold her gentle smile. But the only Grace in our glass was different from the one we knew.

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We asked our other classmates if they had any information about Grace, but they all returned different versions of the same answer, "No one knew here as much as you guys," they said. While this was of no help at all, it proved to us that she was not a figment of our imagination. Grace had been there and had touched our lives in a way that no other did then or ever since.

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When I am on a crowded street, I still search the faces of strangers looking for my friend Grace. We never took pictures. All I have of her are the memories and a broken sunshade as the only evidence that she was here.

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Over the years, I have told this story a few times; a story about a girl who showed me what friendship is. Some say she was a ghost. Others say she was a drifter and those who didn't know her thought she was a figment of our imagination.

But there was Grace, the kindest person I ever knew, and I miss my friend.

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Your favourite eye doctor,
@ojay

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