More than cruel - Story

Sometimes I wonder if I could forget my own name, so I start to say it in my mind at the point where I shout it myself. I know that for ordinary people this kind of situation can be considered as an indicator of a loss of identity, but in my case it was only to bear someone else's name for eight years, eight damn long years that still running against me. Everything started when I turned eleven, for any girl is an age to imagine the future, to suck high, to play with dolls and enjoy school but that as long as you have parents, some incredible parents that can give you a life of protection and love, but for a girl in the poorest neighborhood south of the city without parents and under the care of a twenty-year-old sister without a university degree but with a night profession and bad taste for guys; The dreams were beyond the sky, I lived day after day, I did not have time to sit down with some classmates, I felt so embarrassed that I had lunch in the girls' bathroom and went straight home after school. It was what anyone would call "Asocial", but I was sure it was better that way, talking to someone about my lifestyle would be a wake-up call for my sister and I would end up in an orphan's center, I preferred to clean up every pool of vomit that Patricia, my sister, left when returning from her job, to bear being considered an orphan. At least then that was my thinking, but things changed a lot that winter. I remember waiting for Patricia sitting next to a small Christmas tree that Juan, the eldest son of the family next door, had given us, was not very tall or leafy, but it was enough for me, Patricia had helped me decorate it with somethings I had bought, little lights and some balls, I was not happy, I knew what happiness was, before my parents died, but that night by the tree seemed a bit, just a little, until I woke up and noticed that Patricia had not come home. I made my breakfast, cereal and milk, I sat down and began to chew eagerly, the hours passed and Patricia did not return, I decided to call her work, Susy replied, her partner and said she was not, she did not see her when she entered the premises, I asked her talk to her boss, Rick, but he was busy. It was Sunday, I spent most of the day watching TV, then I did my grammar task, but Patricia did not come back, I decided to wait until nightfall to call her work again, so I prepared a pasta and sat down to eat it, fell asleep watching the TV, I got up and looked at the clock, dialed eleven-fourth, I decided to call Patricia, Susy was on the phone again, said that Patricia had not gone to work yesterday, not today, since she does not appear on the daily payroll, a chill ran down my spine. Something was wrong. - Why had not she come back? She was a little worried, but it was not impossible for her to go away two days in a row, although it was not common in her either, if there was one day that Patricia liked to spend with me, that It was Sunday, I prepared pancakes and she had a chocolate meringue, we watched her favorite show and then we slept together, I like Sunday's, it was like going back to the past, I felt really alive.

Maybe she had preferred to go with a new boyfriend, so I brushed my teeth, and went to bed. In my dreams Patricia shouting "Help" but as much as I wanted to reach her, I never reached her, she cried, I was really agitated, until I woke up, the sound of a car coming out at full speed so woke me up, I had my eyes open, I turned on the light, I looked out the window to see what it was, there was a car moving very fast down the street and right in front of the building a body, I was on the third floor, I could not see clearly but I was wearing women's clothes, then a horrible sensation seized me, I feared the worst, I feared Patricia and I opened the door, I stumbled several times, I went on telling myself - it is not her, it is not her, it can not be her - I opened the door of the building, I heard the car turning the street again, I hid and tried to observe through the glass and saw something that looked like a wallet, someone shouted from the car

-- Here you are damn b*tch! - my legs trembled.

to be continue...