Two-Sided: Chapter X

I had finished my run before Tyler finished his swim. He swam for a lot longer today. I went to watch him swim for his last thousand yards. Since when did Tyler look so good in a swim trunks? I kept asking myself.

I could never understand swimming. I did it for a season and stopped after that. I just couldn’t get over the fact that you raced toward a wall, flipped over just in time to kick off and spin to do it all over again. You swam and swam and swam and didn’t go anywhere. I just don’t get it.

Yes, Tyler had explained all the good things about swimming. Whatever.
I used the time for a little self-reflection. I had to sort through these feelings I was having, or not having, for matt and Tyler. I couldn’t be dealing with these conflicted emotions during this next month, so I was only going to allow myself the next thirty minutes for it. Hopefully Tyler would be done then. If not, I just going to have to leave.

Tyler? Do I like Tyler? That would explain a little bit about how I had been reacting to seeing him. But that thought just opened up too many questions. I had to find another reason for my lack of romantic feelings for Matt.

Maybe I had finally outgrown my crush on Matt. That would be fantastic. I knew that Matt was in love with Vicky. Honestly, she was perfect for him. A nurse who could deal with his crazy hours, talk with him about medicine. She even liked music as much as he did, playing piano growing up. Yeah, I knew as soon as I met her that I didn’t stand any chance anymore.

Is that why my feeling for Matt finally ebbed? It’s the only conclusion. Maybe my reactions to Tyler were just because my feeling for Matt were falling away and Tyler was the closest substitute being Matt’s brother? Yeah, that kind of works. I told myself.

So in conclusion, I’m really ready to start dating and have a chance at a great relationship. I silently congratulated myself on this accomplishment. Yes, that’s right. I’m not falling for Tyler, he’s just the closest thing after Matt. That’s all it is.

Tyler pulled himself out of the pool. His back muscles flexing with the effort. He swung himself over the edge and stood up, giving everyone in the pool a good view of his total body. He looked over at me and gave me that impossible full smile.
Sploosh.
Damn it.