The Crystalline Spiders of Moon 12

in #story7 years ago (edited)

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Exploring a new moon, Captain Vasquez’s crew accidentally drilled into the side of a space vessel buried deep underground. Thousands of giant crystalline spiders spilled out the hole and began spinning fiber optic webs over the moon’s valleys.

Once complete, the web network began broadcasting its coordinates into outer space, presumably calling more spacefaring arachnids forth.

Their mission accomplished, the spiders began to eat.

They started with Vasquez’s landing craft. Next they went for the drill.

“They prefer electronic things, not flesh,” Helmsley said with relief.

“Yes.” Vasquez laughed grimly. “Electronic things like our space suits.”

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A cowboy was taken prisoner by a bunch of angry Indians. They were all prepared to kill him but their Chief declared that since they were celebrating the Great Spirit, they would grant the cowboy three wishes before he killing him. The cowboy can do nothing, but obey them.
The Chief comes up to him and asks:

  • What do you want for your first wish?
  • I want talk to my horse, - replies the cowboy.
    The Chief allows him to talk to the horse. The cowboy whispers in its ear. The horse neighs, rears back, and takes off at full speed. About an hour later, the horse comes back with a naked lady on its back. Well, the Indians are very impressed, so they let the cowboy use one of their teepees. A little while later, the cowboy stumbles out of the teepee, tucking in his shirt.
    The Chief asks him once again:
  • What do you want for your second wish?
  • I want to talk to my horse, - once again replies the cowboy.
    Again, the cowboy whispers in the horse’s ear. The horse neighs, rears back, and takes off at full speed. About an hour later, the horse comes back with another naked lady on its back. Well, the Indians are very impressed indeed. So, once again, they let the cowboy use one of their teepees. The cowboy stumbles out a little while later.
    The chief comes up to the cowboy and asks:
  • So, what do you want for your last third wish?
  • I want to talk to my horse, - for the third time replies the cowboy.
    He grabs the horse by the ears and yells @ it:
  • You stupid animal, I said POSSE, POSSE not PUSSY!!!

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