'The Disturbed Lake' - Steemit Story Chain #17 Where You Write the Story and 100 Whaleshares for the Winner
Welcome to the Steemit Story Chain
Good evening to all you Steemers out there I hope your day is going to plan. It's time for another Steemit Story Chain where I invite you all to continue writing a story that I will start. This week's story is called The Disturbed Lake.
I would like to say thank you to all of those who took part in the last story chain, particularly @diva1981, @thot2word, @dlina-v-metrah, @virsu95, @chuckyfucky and @butterb. You all wrote some fantastic parts of the story and it was great to see tons of imagination being exercised in last week's story chain. But there can only be one winner and that has now been determined.
@butterb
You took the narrative that @chuckyfucky had introduced and gave it more layers creating a very engaging part of the story. You also provided great detail helping me to picture the scene and it was very well presented. You have won 100 Whaleshares. Please reply with your Bitshares account information and I will send the Whaleshares to your account immediately. Enjoy! If you don't have an account don't worry it's very simple and completely free to set one up here - https://bitshares.openledger.info/?r=akrid-1.
A reminder of the winning part is detailed below:
4
“Where are we?” she asked. Blankly, I stared at her. This couldn’t be real. She’s a figment of my imagination. She’s not there. She’s not there.
She turned to look at me with those haunted eyes. I didn’t see hate or anger on her face. Uncertainty, yes. Confusion. Definitely. And something else. Something lurking under that hauntedness. Fear. Then clarity in her eyes.
“Please. You have to help me. She won’t let me go”, she begged. “I just want to go home. Please.”
I stared at her, disconcerted and bewildered by her plea. “You want...me..to help you? But, I was the one that hit you that night on the road.”
“Yes, I know”, she replied. “Don’t you know, you saved me. From her. She kidnapped me. She’s evil. She..she..killed my boyfriend. She tortured him before killing him. She would have done the same to me. You saved me from the torture when you hit our car that night. But her evilness. It’s still there. Her spirit won’t let me leave this place.”
“Please”, she begged again. “She won’t let me go and I just want to go home. I want to go where I belong. It’s not here. I know in my heart I belong somewhere else.”
I knew then that there was hope. Hope to redeem myself. I cowardly drove away that dark, drunken night. Here was my chance to set things right. But how can one help a spirit?
Let's now move onto this week's new story entitled The Disturbed Lake. If you would like to submit an entry please ensure you upvote and resteem this post. The first part of the story I have written and is featured below. All you need is to continue writing the story using the comment box. Develop the story in your own unique way being creative and original. Exercise that creative muscle and have fun! You only need to write a short paragraph or two and remember to number which part of the story you are writing.
This contest is sponsored by Whaleshares and I owe a big thank you to @akrid and @officialfuzzy. There are 100 Whaleshares for the winning entry. If you would like to learn more about Whaleshares and how they can increase your post rewards please visit https://steemit.com/whaleshares/@eirik/guide-on-how-to-use-whaleshares-updated-version where @eirik will gladly explain more to you.
What I am looking for in order to determine the winning entry is as follows:
- A strong sense of imagination
- Creative intelligence
- Originality
- Narrative fluidity (ensuring the story chain links smoothly)
- Use of language, grammar and syntax (we need to understand what you're saying!)
The winner will be announced in a week's time. A new post will be published then announcing the winner along with a new story chain.
Part One of The Disturbed Lake
I used to enjoy taking a stroll by the lake. No matter what the weather the water was always clam. The trees around the lake made it so beautiful, almost like they were cuddling the lake itself. It was a complete picture of beauty and serenity. No matter how bad my day had been, a walk by the lake would soon bring me back to a calmer state. It was on one of these walks, an overcast day although the sun was doing its best to break through, that the serenity I had become accustomed to was disrupted. I was standing by the lake's edge drinking in the calmness when I noticed a movement of some kind on the water. It was in the distance. I couldn't make out what it was. I thought it might be a bird or fish at first but it was far too big for that. Was it a person? Were they waving for help? I hope not as I can't swim. I took a step closer to see who or what it was. I then realised to my horror what it was.
I stood and stared in shock as sweat broke out on my face. I could feel my heart racing so fast like it was almost in my mouth with my legs shaking like I had lost balance. I wasn't sure what to do. There was no one around I could call out to, as everywhere seemed deserted...
What do I do? How do I go about this? I'm so scared, I want to run away but I can't, I want to scream but I can't.....
I'm in a state of confusion, frozen to my bones...
I really have to do something before it's too late.
This is my entry and it's the second part of the story.....
Part three of The Disturbed Lake.
Swimming towards me was a crocodile! Sliding gently towards the shore where I stood. What could a crocodile be doing here? How come i had never come across any of it before?
Somehow, part of me wanted to believe i was safe at the shore where I stood, but then I remembered that crocodile can walk on land too. I began to withdraw slowly as it hastened it's swimming towards me. I began to double my retracing steps and eventually broke into a sprint, running as fast as my legs could carry me.
I ran to the county police station and reported. Soon enough, relevant authorities were notified. Last I heard of it was that, the crocodile was captured alive and taken to the county wild life reserve.
Though the experience shook me a bit, it didn't stop me from paying my visit to the lake once in a while and each time I relive its serenity and beauty, I remember the day it became disturbed.
Part 2:
A baby was there alone, sitting on a mini inflatable pool Flamingo. The toddler could not have been more than 1 year old. Old enough to be sitting, but definitely not old enough to be in the middle of the lake alone. As shock takes over my body, I scan the rest of the lake.... no one in sight. How could this happen I ask myself? Is this my imagination playing tricks on me again? Where are the parents? Without hesitation, I run towards the lake and set foot into the lake. Luckily I realize that the edge of the lake is not too deep. My heart is pounding, I'm shaking but my body is rushed with adrenaline. Fight or flight, no time for more questions or being scared. All I could think of is getting to this baby and bringing him or her back to land.
As I get closer, I realize... it’s a doll. A sense of relief comes over me, but then reality kicks in and I realize that I have gotten into a deeper part of the lake and I can't swim.
Part 5
I needed to save some more strength as I hastened up with my body and breath to see if I could get to the other bank of the river, the more faster I got it seems like an impossible task because I was stucked in the middle of the river which was a little bit hollow and the water almost covered up to my neck, it seems I was sinking.. how could this be? I wondered because I always did this each day I came across the lake side... I saw myself been emptied wholeheartedly into this very lake I enjoyed the warmth each time... I gasped for breath I tried calling out... I was merely left me my hands on the surface of the water as my whole body sank deep, I recalled all the good memories of life I pasted through and how life gonna seem dying without Telling my loved ones how much I love and wanted to spend much time with them as I closed my eyes willing to accept death... as water filled my mouth I felt something soft touched my hands, I never knew what happened till I opened up my eyes to behold I was on the surface of the earth with an angel close by...
Part 3, following on from choicewilliam
When I came to, I was lying on the shore with my feet in the water. Everything in the scene appeared to be calm as before– the trees still looked as if they had their limbs placed affectionately over the lake and the sun had now broken through and was shining in my eyes to the extent that I wondered if it was the effect of the blow to my head and I was seeing things. However, my head didn't hurt, and when I sat up and looked around, I saw the two figures – the boy and the old woman, standing there looking down at me. The woman's cloak covered her face so it remained hidden from me. The boy with the neck wound however, had something very familiar about him, and it was this something that gave me the second shock of the morning. Above his right eyebrow, there was a birthmark in the shape of a perfect semi-circle that stretched half-way up his forehead. I staggered backwards and almost fell into the water with the impact of realising what this meant. “My goodness! Only one person had a birthmark like that”, I thought to myself, “But he died late last year, I attended the funeral as his teacher”. Another realisation struck me and I turned to the woman, “are...are you then the witch that Edward was talking about before he died?” I asked in a quavering voice, my nerves shot to threads. She drew her cloak back, and as the folds of cloth came down, they revealed.........
Could everybody please NUMBER your entry? It is very difficult to add on to the story when the paragraphs are so out of order - someone already made a write up based off the wrong paragraph... Let's keep this consistent - best of luck to everyone!
Thanks @jorlauski.
Part twelve after @thot2word
I was frozen in place.
My thoughts were running wild and pictures of the bizarre dream from the previous night came to haunt me. How on earth could it be possibly real? There were no crocodiles or giant snakes in this area, no murdered children or missing babies. What was going on?
One part of me wanted to turn around and run, to give up this happy place of mine and never come back again. Another part was still stubborn and wouldn't believe in any of this... But a third part of me was curious beyond reckoning, fueled by the fear and the disbelief from the rest of me. I didn't become a teacher for no reason...
Was it possible that my dream had been some kind of forecast? What would happen now?
Pictures of the witch came to my mind and a nervous giggle escaped my lips. The water was still moving, as in my dream. Despite my growing anxiety I took a step forward.
And then another.
I kept going until I reached the shore, forcing myself to breathe steadily and from there I could see what was coming trowards me. Wave by wave and ever so slowly a bottle came floating to the rocky bank.
I exhaled heavily. It was only a bottled message!
I looked around and got myself a stick to fish it out of the water. When I opened it, I saw a picture; the drawing of a not yet talented child - it was the content that disturbed me quite a lot:
It was a crocodile. Chewing on a witch...
#13 following viraythewitch -
A cold sweat broke as I sighed in relief at how silly I felt. Looking closer at the picture , I turned it around to look at the back of it . It had some scribbled writing on it that was mostly intact, but had some ink runs from being in a bottle in the lake. Though some moisture had seeped into the bottle -the message was still legible. I read the words and paused for a moment to try to understand what it meant - What would this message be doing here in this lake? - and who would have sent it?
The message was short and to the point - it had very clear instructions and there was a part of my curiosity that simply had to know more. I wanted to follow the instructions to see what would happen. With the crinkled picture in my sweaty hand, I tossed the bottle back to depth that it came from and turned away from the lake, and hurriedly made my way back to my house.
Just a few doors down from my house, old man Jack stepped outside to pick his cat up and noticed me. His eyes caught mine and suddenly, I was anxious the get past him with out all the niceties of having to make conversation. This mysterious note was burning a hole in my head and I could not think about anything else other than getting home to try it.
" Hi Jack .. good to see you .. gotta go!" I huffed at him as I put my head down and soldiered forward, fumbling for my keys. Finally reaching my doorstep, I slide the key into the lock and opened the door.I closed it quickly, took a deep breath and let it out as I leaned up against the closed door. Peace. Quite. My note!
I ran to my computer and sat down in front of it - it was already alive - silently blinking lights on the keyboard awaiting my commands. I took the picture and looked at it one time - hoping for some kind of further clues. Nothing - so I looked at the back again - ready to give it a shot.
Reading very carefully to make sure I understood what it meant , I read aloud the following words:
Want to change your life? Try Steemit.com
I furiously typed the address into my browser - suddenly the screen lit up with opportunity and wonder....wide eyed and full of excitement, I settled into my chair and grabbed my warmed over coffee mug ......
Wow. I like😉
The place is also beautiful and the story too
Excellent topic
Oh crap, not again! This thing had ruined my peaceful time alone not even a week ago. Something had to be done to rid the world of this evil creature and I had just the thing. I started backing up slowly as I was not sure whether it had seen me or not, I had to keep looking over my shoulder so as not to back into any trees or trip on any limbs that were on the ground. It was moving steady, I didn't think I had been spotted at that point so I decided to turn and run.
My house was just down a dirt lane and I was running fast and hard by the time I got to it! I burst in the front door yelling "Boy's get your guns!" The excitement was palatable as I was prone to not letting them have them out at all, ever. "Load 'em and go to the lake across the lane! There
is an eight-foot snake coming across straight at us! If it's a cottonmouth you shoot it but you have to be sure that's what it is! I don't want you to shoot if it's that indigo because they are protected big time!" I had visions of some uppity wild life officer bringing snake corpse to my door and telling me who had seen my boys killing an endangered species.
I didn't run back with them I knew they'd kill it no matter what it was and if I wasn't there, all the better. I had to chuckle to myself as I closed the door behind me. I was a city girl born and raised but had become accustomed to guns and snakes and boys killing things. But I laughed because recently my husband had asked: "Who are you?" When I grabbed a rat snake and rescued a baby wren from it's mouth. I just smiled but I thought "The girl you moved to the boonies dumb ass!" Kiddingly of course!
I am so sorry, I just realized my mistake: I was to build upon others work! :( Oh well, better luck next time! I couldn't figure out what you meant by asking to number what portion mine was, now I get it!