'The Absent Gentleman' - Steemit Story Chain #14 Where You Write the Story and 100 Whaleshares for the Winner
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Welcome to the Steemit Story Chain - 'The Absent Gentleman'
Good afternoon all you great people of Steemit I hope you are doing good. It's time again for a new Steemit Story Chain and I am inviting you all to come and write a part of a story I will start. There are 100 Whaleshares on offer for the Steemer who writes the most original and engaging part of the story.
I would like to say a massive thank you to all of those who contributed to the last story chain, particularly @byn, @yardley-elbert, @dremingirwin, @wandrnrose7 and @sayee. You all wrote very interesting parts and you all prove that we have some very talented writers here on the Steemit platform. However, there can only be one winner and me and my co-judge @nikflossus have now decided on the winning entry.
@yardley-elbert
You demonstrated nice tight writing with interesting dialogue, and you switched effectively from slow introspection to fast paced action. The runner up was @wandrnrose7 who wrote a good alternative introduction, low key and believable with an intriguing twist at the end. Shortly behind was @dreamingirwin who, as usual, adopted solid action writing using a 'gumshoe' detective writing style, which worked nicely.
The winner, @yardley-elbert, has won 100 Whaleshares. Please reply with your Bitshares account information and I will send the Whaleshares to your account immediately. Enjoy! If you don't have an account don't worry it's very simple and completely free to set one up here - https://bitshares.openledger.info/?r=akrid-1.
A reminder of the winning entry is featured below.
Part 3
I spent the rest of the day in a blur of anxiety, checking my pocket for the box every few minutes and and making endless clerical errors as I worried about the large briefcase of cash I was resting my feet on, under my desk. Nothing even remotely exciting ever happened to me. In fact my life seemed to have barely any drama at all these days, so when my boss called me in to talk about my promotion I was so nervous I could barely speak in whole sentences.
And then suddenly it was 5 o clock and I was free. I hurried home, skipping the bus and instead taking the briefcase to the toilet, locking myself in a cubicle and taking a crisp twenty pound note out of the briefcase to pay for a taxi.
Feeling very much like a spy I asked the taxi to stop two streets away from my house. I didn't want to be followed. From there I got my key ready in my hand and walked briskly home with my head down. I opened the door, stepped inside, closed it behind me, locked the door and bolted it. I breathed a sigh of relief and was about to head for the kitchen when someone behind me spoke.
'Excuse me love,' said a man's voice,' Sorry to startle you. But you're going to need to put that briefcase down.'
I turned to see a balding man with a kind face step out of my dining room. He was still wearing his coat. Quickly I reached for the door handle.
'Lads,' he said, almost casually. Four black clad men in masks burst out of my kitchen and fanned out behind the man, each one keeping a pistol pointed at my head.
'Also,' he said, smiling apologetically, 'we're going to need that... thingy you've got in your pocket.'
Right then let's move on to this week's new story chain entitled The Absent Gentleman. If you want to submit an entry then first upvote and resteem this post. I have written the first part of the story. Then you simply use the comment box below to develop the story in whatever way and style you desire. Be as creative and original as you can to help create a very compelling story. And have fun with it! Change genres if you want to. It's entirely up to you. A short paragraph or two is all we are after. And remember to number which part of the story you are writing.
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This contest is sponsored by Whaleshares and I owe a big thank you to @akrid and @officialfuzzy. I would also like to thank @blocktrades for making Whaleshares possible. There is 100 Whaleshares for the winning entry. If you would like to learn more about Whaleshares and how they can significantly increase your post rewards please visit https://steemit.com/whaleshares/@eirik/guide-on-how-to-use-whaleshares-updated-version where @eirik will gladly explain more to you.
The hugely talented @nikflossus will be helping me decide which one of your contributions is worthy of the winning prize. We are looking for:
- A strong sense of imagination
- Creative intelligence
- Originality
- Narrative fluidity (ensuring the story chain links smoothly)
- Use of language, grammar and syntax (we need to understand what you're saying!)
The winner will be announced in a week's time. A new post will be published then announcing the winner along with a new story chain.
Here is part one of The Absent Gentleman
It made no difference what day of the week it was, or what time of the day. He would always be there. I must have walked passed that house a thousand times, probably more and he would still be there. Just sat at that table, nothing on the table and staring at nothing. I could never discern the expression on his face. There seemed to be a melancholy about him, but it wasn't obvious. The house was old and delapidated. He was old but there was life in him. I had always been tempted to make up a reason so I could knock on his door and check if he was alright, but I just never found the inclination to do it. Did he spend his whole day just sitting there? I never saw anyone else in the house, just him. One sunny afternoon I was walking to the shops to get some groceries. As usual there he was, sitting in his own space, musing as always. Then to my surprise he looked up at me, he looked me right in the eyes and mouthed the words....
congrats to the winner. Thanks for mentioning me. It feels great because I am not a native English speaker.
Well done post . You deserve for getting Upvote from me. I appreciate on it and like it so much . Waiting for your latest post. Keep your good work and steeming on. Let's walk to my blog. I have a latest post. Your upvote is high motivation for me. Almost all Steemians do their best on this site. Keep steeming and earning.
**
Congrats to @yardley-elbert! You had some amazing writing going there!
Thank you for the kind mention! I enjoyed the challenge. :) @yardley-elbert, congratulations! Very enjoyable writing <3
Part 2
"Death follows you."
I was stunned. I stumbled on the pavement but kept walking towards my house without turning back.
Why would he say that?, I thought to myself.
Maybe he is on medication. Anyhow I did not give much though to it and quickly forgot the incident.
A week passed by and on Sunday afternoon, I happened to walk by his house again. For a change, he was sitting on a chair on the sit-out.
As I saw him, I remembered our last encounter. He beckoned me towards him.
Part 3
Hesitating for a moment I walked over to him. He was seated on a folding chair at small card table. Spread across the green felt was a mess of cards, dice, paper, pencils and other little ornaments. It looked like he was playing some sort of game.
'Hello again,' I said cautiously. I'd been thinking about what he'd told me all week. It had bothered me, particularly at night. So much so that I'd slept with the light on.
The man beckoned me closed. I leaned down.
'He draws ever closer,' he croaked.
'Who?' I said, feeling for some reason that I should pretend.
'You don't believe?'
I thought for a moment, remembering the terrible week I'd had. Feeling suddenly angry I stood up straight.
'Actually I'm not sure I do.'
'Then look.'
He pointed down the street. It was empty. There were no cars and no people. I watched for a while then looked back at him
'What?'
'Wait...'
We stood staring down the empty street. A slight breeze blew some old newspapers across the road. And then, in the distance, a car approached.
'Watch,' he said, gripping my arm tightly with his bony hands.
Slowly the car came towards us. It was red. The sun shone on the windscreen obscuring the driver. As it got closer I could see that it was old and battered.
'Now,' said the old man.
And suddenly, from one of the side streets, a small child ran laughing into the road...
Part 4
I watched with growing horror as the scene played out before me. I didn't know what this old man had to do with anything, but it was obvious that he expected me to make a choice. A choice to save myself or to save this child I didn't know.
Unthinking, I ran towards the car. I was waving my arms, screaming like the hounds of hell were at my heels. I wasn't even sure if I was screaming at the little girl or the driver of the car, but no matter, neither of them appeared to hear me at all.
Even running as fast I could, I saw that there was no way I was going to make it in time. I sped up, my lungs burning, my legs flying across the grass.
It was no use. The sound of the impact, the screeching brakes and the child's head hitting the pavement brought me to my knees. The momentum of my body made me hit the ground harder than I was expecting, but I felt nothing except despair. I watched as if from afar as the driver jumped from the car and ran to the little girl. His wailing cry had to have been heard for miles.
My blood pumped in my ears like thunder. I heard screaming and my throat felt raw. I realized I was the one screaming...
And then suddenly I was back on the man's porch. He was watching me as if I was a specimen in a lab. What kind of powers did this man hold? What was this horrific spectacle supposed to show me?
I turned to him, tears coursing down my face and screamed at him, "What do you WANT FROM ME?"
Part 5
Dried, cracked lips peeled apart from one another, exposing the man's yellow-toothed grin, as he replied in a whisper. I had to lean in to hear him say, "I want what is rightfully mine, your soul."
His words struck me like one thousand pissed off rattlesnakes. I was paralyzed by fear.
"Wha- What did you just say?"
"Your soul. It's mine," he stated matter-of-factly. "And you know it, too."
I turned to run, to run as far away from this man or monster as I possibly could, but my muscles seized. Only my neck was able to move. When I glanced back over my shoulder is the moment that I saw it.
Part 6
The old man had transformed into a 7 foot black hairy monster. He had two horns on his head and eyes that looked like there was a fire burning inside.
"I have waited too long." He hissed.
His split tongue made it's way around my throat choking me. I couldn't breath.
My hands reached out trying to reach for something to grab onto. My vision blurred and I was in immense pain when my hand struck the walking cane. I grabbed it and hit the creature weakly.
His tongue let go of it's death grip and that was all I needed.
I ran.
I did not turn back. I kept running till I reached my house.
As I barged locking in the doors behind me, I turned around and there he was.
"Why do you think you can run away from me" He hissed again before pouncing on me