Am I in Love??

My day started as all other days with the call of my mother from the living room to get off from the bed. I am enjoying my long holidays after my under graduation the end of my studies. Of course I am a good student in my studies and completed with quite a good score. But my holidays turned to end soon that day. My dad handed over the mobile to me saying that I got a call. I am surprised mostly shocked “Who would call me??” as I have no close friends who remember me. I picked the call, I remember saying only two words that day through out the whole conversation: “Yes, sir”, “OK sir” and finally a “Thank You”.

The call is about my offer in a reputed company as Software Engineer. I hardly remember the day when I got this opportunity as I didn’t care for it much because the training is in Bangalore and the posting can be anywhere across India. So I thought to drop it as I never left my family since my birth. Anyways the decision is in the hands of my parents, I don’t need to worry about it. I never took my own decisions what to study, even what to buy for myself and not like other girls, I always loved placing my remote in their hands. But my mother convinced my father to take me to Bangalore and if I find it difficult to stay away from my family my dad advised me to fail in the final exam after the training and come home, I am also in the same mood. I thought its a perfect decision as they do it always.

The day before my journey my dad gave me a mobile a small normal mobile of some 1500 and a debit card with 1000 in it, that night I still remember holding my own mobile and I felt a bit weird. My mom packed my bag. The next day we took the train and reached Bangalore in the that night, took a room in a hotel.

The next day for my joining formalities we went to the office with all copies of my certificates, when I reached there I came to know that they wanted to verify my original certificates. I am tensed and worried what to do, I told to my father. I thought that my certificates are in my hometown which is 18hrs from Bangalore. But my worries were gone since my intelligent dad brought my certificates and they were in the hotel room. He always keeps all the things right. He is a perfectionist in such things. All the candidates like me are in the office, we were in a quite big room. I don’t know anyone there, moreover everyone is with their friends except me. I am thinking about how I troubled my father to go back in the city of traffic.

Then the door was opened three boys entered the room, one sat beside me and two others sat before me. Among them one asked pen from me, I don’t even remember his face. I acquainted them with the fields they need to fill in the form. Two of them had a friendly chat with me. I am done with all the formalities and they gave us the address where we need to stay from the next day through out our training. Me and my dad got to bed as soon as we entered the room after the journey in the huge traffic.

The training place is of 10min. from the place we stay. The hostel rooms were too good I placed my things in the cupboard I thought it is a best hostel on earth. My dad left me there and went I looked at him until he disappeared. I found two friends there one is from the same college of mine and the other is from my hometown. I made a chat and got to know every girl there in our training batch. Our batch is of 40 members. In that short span the batches were formed. They took the food together, and the evening walks after dinner, outings all together.

I hate to be in batch. But I had no option, I need to stay with the batch of three girls and 4 boys with whom I felt like I don’t belong there and this continued for few days. I felt alone, I call my parents at least 4 times in a day. I am self motivate in nature, so I comforted myself and started talking with all the girls in the hostel soon I became common friend to all but not too close. I started sitting with any batch which I would like to.

We had a trainer she is so good and made some class activities so we all can cope together. One day she made an activity forming all into groups and told to introduce others in the batch. Then I got to know even the boys in the class. Everyone is having a story some are quite silly and some are inspiring. Among all, one person’s introduction caught my ears, he is being introduced by my friend also room mate, it is so short. ‘His name is ___. He completed his studies by taking classes to juniors. He don’t like to interact with people much.’ At that night I came to know from my friend that he hates girls and he said it straight away.

That night I started thinking of him, as I always hate boys except my bro and dad and this man is saying that he hates girls. I am a kind of feminist too. I thought to make him realize that women are superior to men which is my feeling. I felt a bit annoying as well. That is the first time I thought of a man or a boy in my whole life since that night. I talk to boys but I just hate them. But since my school, in my graduation none of the boys could dare to talk over me I am always to the point in arguing they moreover respect me.

The other day, I had a chat with him and came to know that he is the one who asked me for pen that day of my joining formalities, but I still don’t remember it. After our chat I came to know he is having the same mentality of mine. Then in our lunch break I found him behaving so odd with one of our classmate who is a tomboy a girl with a hard words. Everyone mistook him and I was there sitting on the bench beside his. I asked that girl to stop and also him to sit down. He calmed down but not her. That night I took a class to him while we had a walk together saying that you can’t treat a girl like that and its of course scolding him. But he listened to me and explained me that its not his mistake. That reminded me scolding my dad who is so friendly with me and listened carefully to me like a kid. As the days are passing he became a good close friend of mine. We exchanged our numbers.

I started having lunch with him in their batch which consists of only boys batch and I am the only girl in the batch. Everyone took the salad except me, even him. He suggested, quite ordered me to eat it. I hate it as they add pepper in it. He made me eat from his plate separating the carrots which are sweet for me. I never ate from anyone’s plate but I had the habit of taking whatever I like from my dad’s plate. I am surprised of myself and my feelings to him. I started knowing more and more about him and his family, I find it interesting to listen to him than talking to him. Sometimes I wished that he could be a girl as I hate love and lovers, I don’t say that the feelings towards him is love, I guess its an attraction to his attitude but I am unable to explain or express my feeling to stay with him for long time and spend more time with him. These thoughts made my mind busy as Bangalore roads.

We started sitting together on the same bench and combined studies which I never made before with anyone. I love to study alone which changed with his entry to my life. After I became friend with him I had started night walks after dinner like others as I found a walking mate. He used to make me laugh and smile all the time. He became the first boy who scolds me to my stupid things and acts. He entered my line of control which no one could ever cross. I started sitting beside him in the bus to my training place, I remember traveling only with my dad beside me. Now I gave that place to him. How stupid am I acting??

Our training days passed so quick, We gave our final assessment and all of us were pass. At that moment when I came to know that I am not going to meet him again, I had a strange feeling that last day how should I feel?? Should I feel happy as I am going home?? or sad that I would miss his company and the carrots from his plate, his presence beside me at lunch, evening walking, having pani poori with him in the evening.?? I kept all my feelings onto a paper and handed it over to him with a chocolate and pen and I asked him to read it when I leave.

All my classmates planned to have a return journey together. My dad came to pick me up. I texted him to bid me a bye, but my dad hate friendship with boys so I went to the canteen see if he is there but he is not there but I can’t make my dad wait for more than that. I left the place without saying bye to him,

with a heart filled sadness, hope that we could get the same work locations

and mind with confusion of

“AM I IN LOVE??”

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