Accept Who You Are !!

What is the most crucial factor in mental health? Answer will vary depending on the different points of view of different people. But, undoubtedly, it is self-acceptance that has proven to be the most pivotal factor in mental health. Research in modern psychology has shown that the absence of the ability to unconditionally accept oneself can lead to a variety of emotional difficulties, including uncontrolled anger and depression. The person who is caught up in self-evaluation, rather than self-acceptance may also be very needy and may devote considerable attention and personal resources to arrogance, in order to compensate for perceived personal shortfalls. One of the elementary and most novel natural methods of reducing self-evaluation and substituting with acceptance is to assume a mindset of mindfulness, rather than mindlessness.

Mindfulness, as termed by Langer in 1989, is an elastic emotional state that results from drawing unique perceptions about the situation and the environment. When one is mindful, one is actively engaged in the present and sensitive to both context and perspective. The mindful condition is both the result of, and the continuing cause of, actively noticing new things.

Low self-esteem is usually considered unhealthy, but according to rational-emotive behavior therapy, any level of self-esteem reflects a dysfunctional habit of globally evaluating one’s worth; nevertheless, attempts to increase self-esteem may have drawbacks as well. Individuals with extremely high self-esteem, for instance, may be more prone to acts of violence. Those with high self-esteem may also be less open to unfavorable feedback and more emotionally vulnerable to criticism.

Researchers have also shown that people with low self-esteem are usually psychologically unhealthy. At the same time, a high level of self-esteem reflects a dysfunctional habit of globally evaluating one's worth; therefore to be both physically and mentally fit, it would be preferable to accept oneself unconditionally.

Those who are able to accept themselves unconditionally are able to embrace all facets of themselves – not just the positive, more 'esteem-able' parts but also all the negative or somewhat damaging qualities. For them self-acceptance is unconditional, free of any qualification. They can very well recognize their weaknesses, limitations, and foibles, but that awareness in no way interferes with their ability to fully accept themselves.

Everybody wants to become the best in whatever he or she does in life. That is quite natural and we should always positively encourage that. But in that process there should not be a feeling to be better than others, because that practice leads to an inflated, aggressive and possibly domineering ego. We all are unique and hence comparison with others is meaningless.

Most people, however, blame unconditional self-acceptance as taking life very easily and suggest that unconditionally accepting oneself will lead to doldrums and allowing oneself to the things that they hate about themselves, or it may lead to hold irrational beliefs and consequently put un-necessary stress on their unhealthy emotions. But in real life situations we must accept this practice of unconditional self-acceptance in a healthy manner by appreciating and accepting the tremendous positive benefits this practice can give us. Instead of rating ourselves, based on some discrete behavior and attribute, we can learn unconditional self-acceptance to strive for our goals without self-hate, shame, anger or anxiety. It also teaches us to stop rebuking ourselves and not think negatively of ourselves when we face challenges and failures, even though we may greatly dislike these negative experiences. By removing the conditions upon which we judge ourselves, choosing unconditional self-acceptance allows us to alter and grow, while still admitting that we are fallible but worthwhile human beings.