Messages to Her
photo source https://bit.ly/2vRznE8
That girls inside you still,
She sees you,
She sees the pain you're in,
You may have forgotten about her, but she's never forgotten about you.
The girl filled with life, smiles, not a care in the world.
Some say "well of course she's not like that anymore. She got older"
But does older mean sad? Does it mean pain? No.
These things...these things have always been there. You just had a different way of dealing with them.
When you fell chasing your siblings or your cousins, sure, you cried, but you got back up.
You washed your wounds and placed a band-aid on them and before you knew it you're back in the game.
What's changed now?
New pains no doubt. Unimaginable pain. Pain you didn't know was possible.
Crying on the bathroom floor,
Screaming into your pillow,
Silent tears in your room late at night.
A wound you can't run to your mother to kiss and make it better or put a band-aid on.
That's the pain that hurts the most. The pain that changes you.
So I get it. I get why you changed, why you forgot about her.
She doesn't have the capacity to deal with this. All she knows are band-aids.
She knows nothing about alcohol or drugs. But that doesn't mean she can't help.
That doesn't mean she can't teach you how to heal.
Remember her.
What did she do when she was in pain? No matter how small it was.
She got back up.
That girl, that girl is you. That girl inside you stays. Play with her once in a while, she might teach you a few tricks.