If you know how to edit:

The sky has changed to rust

the word 'has' should be 'had' since all your poem is in the past tense.

Other than that tiny mistake, I must say I liked it.

I also like that you did not try to explain it, sometimes writers do and they should not, leave it to the imagination of the reader.

I hope my comment has encouraged you, as I intended. (I've done a follow so that I get to read your next ones)