A short short story in 300 minus 3 words
A special thanks to @swissclive who initiated this short story contest with less than 300 words!
Chatting At Work
Walter liked his job. It didn't make him rich or had a particularly good reputation, but it was a safe job, everything followed strict rules and while at work he was around people a lot. Walter was a people's man. He liked them and he liked talking to them and they liked him, because he was a good natured person.
On his way, he often walked into Johnny. The two couldn't be further apart, but both came along with one another and Johnny too, was deep in his heart a good natured person and he too liked to talk to people. This time, when Walter and Johnny had their occasional chat, it wasn't any different.
"You know," said Walter, "basically, you really have a good life here, you know that, don't you?" On which Johnny looked at him with an asking face: "What do you mean? I don't see it."
"Well, Johnny," Walter replied, "you have a roof over your head and get three meals a day for free and what was the book again that you are reading?"
"Oh, I'm not reading right now, I'm watching 'The Sopranos'. A few years old, but the best show ever!"
"The Sopranos! You are truly blessed, Johnny, you even have a TV!" Of course, Walter knew Johnny had a TV and was watching The Sopranos, but he used it hyperbolically to make his point.
"What in the world are you missing? You really do have it all here."
On which Johnny gave him back: "My freedom, that's what I miss. Give me my freedom and I agree."
"But Johnny," said Walter who already made the first steps away from him, "you know it yourself: Murderers stay with us for life."
Words: 297
I hope you liked it!
Meanwhile the clues are actually there in plain sight!!
a) strict rules
b) roof over your head, three meals a day for free, book to read...Overall, prison amenities...
c) Desire for freedom!
d) and the final clue - murderer, and for all its worth, the prison gates...in the caption!!!
It is a creative and revealing story. I credit you.
thx for analyzing it;-)
Pleasure is mine. Thanks
Good story! I needed some time to figure out the end - Johnny's a convict! : )
yep and thanks. Walter works as a warden.
Yep, got that as soon as I got that Johnny's a convict.
That was good! As soon as I got to the end of the story, everything fell into place. Then I had to read the story a second time to make sure I hadn't missed anything. Of course I had missed all the clues, exactly as mentioned by @ebitularmbert in his comment.
This is definitely one of the top 5 stories. Voted at 100%.
thx;-)
I was surprised myself a bit, looks like I have story telling skills^^
This is a very well-crafted short story! I didn't really see the end coming. Thanks to @ebitularmbert for analysing it, otherwise I probably wouldn't have got it!
This can be a great example of a story whose underlying meaning is right there but also indirect—in a sense, implied, and meant to make you think.
thanks a lot!