Can we Stop Homelessness? If so, How?
Hello, my name is @charisma777 I have a brother who has been missing since 2008, at least that is the last time I have found any information about him. Let me tell you a bit of our story.
Our mother was 36 years old when she died. I was 16, my brother was almost 13 and our little sister was almost 9, we also have an older sister who was 19 and out of the house when our mother died.
The night she died, I was being a rebellious 16 year old, angry at the world. She went out to look for me and I was no where for her to find me. When I came home she was not looking good. I was drinking and she ended up dying later that evening. I was devastated.
The day of her funeral my brother was so distraught, he was her only son. He never knew a life without her, nor did I. Not really, without her although we had many run ins with child protection and such. He truly was her little boy. He could do no wrong in her eyes.
I was removed from the home because of our mother's husband, he didn't want me there because I was not one to keep quiet about anything that went against my heart. So I went from place to place for a little while.
I ran away and found my best friend was there to help she, @tecnosgirl, is and was my only friend that understood the issues we went through. I stayed with her for a little while and then was arrested and taken into the YOC. I was there for a few weeks when the cottage manager pulled me into her office to tell me that my little brother was now placed in the YOC because he tried to hurt another child because the child called our mother a bad name. They placed this little boy, who had just lost his mother behind the fence because he was a threat to others. I was so scared I couldn't protect him. We started off on family counseling through the program to help us cope with the loss of our mother and the loss of our family foundation.
I was released when I was 18, but not immediately. It took a few months before I completed the program. My brother stayed and from there, things went crazy for him. He was lost, confused, under/over-medicated, he was pissed if you ask me. He didn't know how to cope, hell neither did I for that matter. So for the next few years my brother went from institution to institution. He never received the proper care, the care he desired as a young boy, the care of his/our mother. She was gone, so all hope went with her. At least that is what my observation was.
My brother then became an adult, now 18, flushed from the CHINs no longer getting the help he needed. I took him in but I was a 22 year old step-mother, going through my own demon filled issues. I tried to get him help he didn't want my help! So my brother took off to San Diego, to live on the beach, literally. He was there for a little while, and then 9/11 happened, and I got a phone call from a random citizen in San Diego, asking me if my brother was Patrick, I said yes, the man proceeds to tell me I need to get my brother out of there, before he klls himself, or someone does it for him. So I bought him a non-refundable bus ticket back to Indiana.
When he made it back, he was no longer my brother. Something changed in him. It wasn't a good change either. I know life is hard, and it can truly mess up ones' psyche. My brother was addicted to drugs, or really just addicted to escaping reality. I have trouble with this myself, but as time goes by, my addictions have become less and less and I feel much more like myself. I worry that my brother will be lost forever, this is why I made this stophomelessness account.
My brother and I last saw one another in 2003 he was in prison in Florida the last known address that I can find. @tecnosgirl and I have looked online now for over 10 years to see what we can find, and nothing. I am hoping to start up a fund to help find my brother, or your brother. Homelessness and mental health issues conincide alot of the time. I want to help get these people home! If you have a story or would like to help in my journey to find my brother, and help solve homelessness within the mentally ill community. Please feel free to comment and share your story.
I am trying to figure out how to go about finding someone who may not want to be found. I hope someone out here in steemitland can help me figure out which steps to take. I want to help all of our brothers from becoming a statistic. Thank you for reading, I hope to hear your thoughts on this.
@charisma777
Stophomelessness!!!
If you have a missing friend or relative, please use the #stophomelessness tag so we can get our stories heard, and maybe find our missing loved ones!
Your story has really touched my heart. I'd love to help you find your brother, even if it's just to bring more awareness to his missing status.
No one should have to do life alone, and families of missing loved ones always deserve the closure that comes from finding their relative. It's so sad what you and your brother had to endure as a child, and that makes this case tug at my heart even more.
I am always so fascinated with mission persons cases and do all I can to help. There is currently one going on for a young man in a town next to mine, who has been missing since 2014. It just started to get some media attention again at the beginning of this year...and I guess it hit me hard because it was so close to home?
I appreciate your comment! Thank you so much. It truly has been rough. I may have great news tho. @finnian may have found my brother. Actually I am pretty sure he found him. Now we wait to see if he responds.
I hate to hear that there are so many stories out there about missing people. There is a case here that is 5 years old and still no leads. It is amazing to me that people won't tell what happened. It's like she just disappeared! There is talk in town someone murdered her, but still no true leads.
Hi Charisma. Your emotions are so real that I wish I could rally the newbieresteemday team and go searching with you. I can not imagine the feeling of not knowing. Even if there is not much you might be able to do for him today but it does lighten the heart to at least know he is warm and safe. My heart goes to you. It’s @beeyou.
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You guys are awesome! Keep up the excellent work!
Thank you @beeyou I am hoping that from this account (stophomelessness) I can get things going and find him, whether it is to travel the states or what not. I am ready to find him and as I stated, if any other people have a similar story, or just want to find someone who doesn't want to be found, we can band together and find them together! I really appreciate the support~ Thank you again~
I hope you uncover some hints along the way that would point you in the right direction @charisma777. Coming together with other people on here that understand all you're going through is definitely a worthwhile aspect of steemit. My best wishes to you and let our team know if we can help in other ways besides the moral support.
(I'm behind again on beeyou with my replies)
I had a great person show up here in the comments @finnian a PI and he seems pretty sure he found my brother! In nashville TN only 9 hours drive from here, maybe less! I am awaiting a reply from my brother! I hope that he doesn't not want to be in contact but am open to that possibility being its been so long. some people just don't want to be found. I am so thankful for all the support! I would like to travel down but at this time my finances won't allow that. Hoping to gather some funds to get down there if he does in fact want to get home! I want to help him because I know what alchohol and drugs can do. It's been too long and he doesn't know he has 2 nephews that would love to meet him one day! Thank you so much!
@charisma777 my heartfelt comfort for having to go through such a sorrowful separation. I cry to the universe with you that one day you shall be reunited with your brother. Yes, homelessness can be stopped! I do have a few suggestions as to how?
You mentioned that at some point your brother went to live on the beach. This was his home, he chose to go and live there which was not a problem. Since he had chosen his 'home', what kind of reception did the inhabitants of his new home give him? Assuming the posed no obvious danger to people as sometimes people on drugs (anything beyond marijuana) can be, did someone not realise that there is a homeless stranger around? Who cared to know about his story? Perhaps the more he faced this neglection the more socially unacceptable he became?? Where am I driving to? The solution to such a problem is for everyone. If you really care, look around...someone needs your help. Humanity should not be left to organised institutions that use guesswork and chemicals to diagnose and treat. It is the spirit within us all that we are all together and connected. The pain of one is the pain of all and the happiness one is the happiness of all. Usually, we are able to do a little more than we do in terms of helping a stranger or a situation. Sometimes all it takes is understanding it and embracing it. When we reject and look aside, hoping for somebody to do it and comforting ourselves that everybody else is not doing it, we cause homelessness. Lead by example and take in a homeless child, show care in one way or another if you cant take in. Do this wholeheartedly and dont be quick to make noise about it until you see real changes and improvement.
Maybe we find our loveds ones. #stophomelessness
THANK YOU!!! You're too kind! I appreciate your powerful words @tafgongthe1st and you are so right
It's a heart problem!!! Some of us have forgotten compassion! I being one of them at a time in my life, but with this subject here I have always wanted to do more to help my fellow man.
Much Love! @charisma777
Yes, we can stop homelessness, but not a moment before people start seeing them as real people, not just numbers... the moment that a roof over the head is considered as important as food and clothing. Having been through poverty myself, I can say that often it is easy to find food and clothing, but impossible to find shelter... especially for a family - or a single mother who has been through the traumas of abuse and divorce.
Best wishes and prayers in your search.
I believe you are so right on the impossibility to find shelter, not many places will take in men. I know how it is even being a single mother, you have to almost be fleeing an abusive relationship to get help, I just hope that one day we can show that the man on the street corner, could be you, or a family member in a matter of moments. It has become a "hidden' issue in many areas and I hope that one day we can find these people the shelter they need!
Yes, I was thinking the same thing when I saw the preview of your comment - that you have to be fleeing an abusive relationship - or be a recovering addict - in order to get help as a woman, even with children!
I think the other thing that has to happen is that our society has to finally recognize motherhood for what it is - a real job that, when properly supported, gives the maximum return on investment - i.e. children who grow up as well-adjusted as possible!
Thank you for this comment! You are so right @viking-ventures this is where I am in my life right now. I would love to see more success stories here. I imagine being able to be a mom to our children and preparing them for life is definitely greater in the long term for sure!
Oh my gosh @charisma777 this is a heartbreaking story. My husband was abandoned as a baby, then reclaimed, only to be abandoned again, growing up in children's homes, separated from his siblings. Drug addiction from early teens, some contact with siblings and being kidnapped by his father then abandoned in a strange city in the care of a prostitute who took care of him ... again losing all contact with his siblings for more than 10 years ... eventually through a chance meeting they reconnected and thank the Lord they have managed to remain in touch and become brothers again. It is a story that really tore me up, as I come from a loving, stable home.
I fully support your desire to stop homelessness. It's a HUGE problem in South Africa, cardboard boxes the only home for too many. I wish I knew of a way to find your brother ... it's very brave of you to tell your story, resteeming and praying it will bear fruit now that it is out there.
OH wow, your husband is probably a strong person having to have gone through such traumatic events. I know being older and going through what I did, did a number on me. I truly hope that putting this here and encouraging others to share their stories to get the word out that there is more to homelessness than people who were just lazy and decided to abandon their homes. It is much deeper than that. I appreciate your support and I would like to see this account grow, to help others. My plans are to make up some back packs with snacks and hygiene as well as some other items to hand out where I see a need. I am doing this for my brother. Even if we never are reunited, I want to at least help someone else in their journey!
That's an awesome and extremely kind idea, and better than just giving money. I hope everything works for the good, and you get the opportunity to travel which is probably the way to find him, starting in Florida? Never say never, my husband Brian eventually reunited with both parents (at different times) as well as his brothers and sister. His dad lived between the streets and the Salvation Army, he tried to get back to a better life but didn't succeed, mostly because he had grown so accustomed to the alternative. His mum remarried and did well. His brother who is very close to him now was also in prison (drug related murder accomplice) - he is now a very successful career person with a lovely family - take heart xx
I truly appreciate you sharing this with me. I know it's been hard when I have looked online and still nothing after all this time. Hopefully he is doing better now and is safe wherever he is. I never lose hope that my brother will be found!
I'm so sorry to hear all of that about your mother and what your family went through. That's awful.
As for your brother, have you tried enlisting a Private Investigator? I have a friend who used to work as an assistant to one and I know that was a lot of what they did--finding missing people under similar circumstances. These days it's pretty hard to live entirely off the grid and leave no trace whatsoever, even for the homeless and mentally ill.
Thank you for that.
I haven't, unfortunately. I haven't been financially able to do that, but I have done quite a bit of digging and my friend and a few family members have also. The last part of your comment is what has me so perplexed. It shouldn't be that hard to do. I just have not found the right direction.
Maybe try calling around to local PIs and getting a consultation with a rate? There's a broad variety of rates they charge depending on the firm/if someone is independent. You might be able to get someone to take your case for a reduced fee if you explain the situation and you're frank about what you can afford, and even at full price it may cost you less than you'd think. Maybe other family members or friends could chip in. I think it's at least worth inquiring. If nothing else it may give you some ideas about where to look.
I had a situation last year where I had to find a couple of people who had fallen into drugs and gone MIA in another state, and I managed to do it by tracking the GPS on one of their phones. I ended up going to the state in person and doing some asking around, and I located them within a day. That was a much easier situation because they were only recently missing, though, and one of them had been my partner for two years so I was able to somewhat reconstruct his thought process. If it were me I would go to your brother's last known location and start asking around local police departments, hospitals, homeless shelters, and food kitchens.
I have his last known whereabouts, but again, no way to get there to look. I definitely will be looking into a local PI not sure if we have any in the town I live in, but maybe one of the larger cities has somewhere for me to start my in depth search for him! Thank you for your idea.
I am glad you were able to find the people who went missing around you. That is a great success story for sure. I wish it were that easy, as he has not ever even gotten a phone that I have been able to find in the limited areas of my search. I have just done basic searches tho. and have never known what to do or where to turn. I thank you all for the input most definitely! It is helping me figure the next steps!
Add me on discord -- malloryblythe #8139. Maybe I can help brainstorm ways to find him if you give me some more specific information.
for some reason it isn't allowing me to add you! are you in newbieresteemday?
Oh weird! Maybe it's because I changed my username at some point. I am. I'll try to find you right now.
charisma777#1683
I'm a PI and my discord is Finnian#5365. GINAbot helped me find your post, for I have it searching for "private investigator." I'm not sure how much I can help, but I will as I can.
Thank you for contacting me. I have sent you a request! Hope to hear from you soon!
@finnian that would be totally awesome Patrick is the only person I haven't been able to locate and for am amature I have a good rate on finding lost people and or those who don't want to be found. But Patrick has stumped me.
Hi Charisma777... I am glad you wrote your story, even though I'm sad to hear it. I'm so sorry for what you and your brother have gone through. I know its hard for someone that has not been through that kind of pain to fully understand, but I have a lot of respect for you to try to help us understand it.
I feel for you and will do my best to get your stories told. I don't know what your plan is, but I do know that I will support it. So please let me know via discord if you ever post about this again, I don't have time to sur much and I don't want to miss anything I can help you with!
Thank you again for sharing this very personal part of your life, and in my eyes this makes you even more special to see what you have turned into as a human being!
Thank you @davemccoy! It goes back to a couple months ago a post you sent my way, since then all I can think of is getting the information on my brother, and what better way than to start by telling the story. I appreciate your heartfelt response and support! I love all my steemit friends! you all are awesome! Thank you again dave for being such an awesome part of my steemit journey! -@charisma777
:) I knew it was you @charisma777 ... and I'm thankful to have you as my teammate in this journey too! I hope you find him and I hope one day we can hear a happy ending to this. What a wonderful post that would be!
I would love that so much to be able to share with everyone a success story! I pray he is safe and sound, I do not want to think it could be something on the side of death, at this point I just want answers and I know by truly opening up answers will come soon enough! Thank you again for being such a great person! You really have shown me that there are still great people if you take time to look!
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I'm a PI and my discord is Finnian#5365. GINAbot helped me find your post, for I have it searching for "private investigator." I'm not sure how much I can help, but I will as I can.
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