'Tis Pity She's a Whore: A Pop Opera - Act I, Scene ix continued (Donado and Bergetto Draft a Letter) ♪♫♬

Act I, Scene ix

LOCATION: In DONADO’S study, which is old, authorial, and musty looking. There are large bookshelves in the background—filled to capacity—and a desk out front, with some candle whickers to emphasize age and royalty. There is an open stained-glass window in the back as well.

The windows reveal a blue sky with some white clouds.

It is daytime.

Donado: Come come, right here on this desk, Bergetto! Quickly!

Bergetto: What's wrong with what I said, Uncle?

Donado: Never mind! Just write!

BERGETTO obediently picks up the feather pen and holds his other hand down on the scroll that he will soon write upon.

Donado: (to himself) Dear God, please help us all.

Bergetto: Come on, Uncle!

Not Another Word

DONADO:
BERGETTO
YOU IMPRESS ME MUCH
WITH YOUR STUPIDITY
BEING SUCH

LET ME CRAFT THIS LETTER
TO MAKE YOUR CHANCE THE BETTER
WE'LL GET ANNABELLA ON YOUR SIDE
AND ULTIMATELY MAKE HER YOUR OWN WIFE

BERGETTO puts down the feather pen, stands up, and reveals his own letter through his sleeve as he moves toward DONADO.

BERGETTO:
NO, NO, NO IT'S GREAT
LET ME TELL YOU TODAY
I'VE GOT THIS LETTER
I WROTE ON MY OWN

DONADO is shocked.

IT WILL SURPRISE YOU UNCLE
THAT I WRITE SO FINE

IT WILL WIN HER BY MY SIDE
NO LIE

DONADO:
Read it.

BERGETTO:
“DEAREST FAIR ONE, YOU’RE THE BEST
I LOVE IT WHEN YOU LIKE TO CARESS
YOU HAVE SUCH A BIG BEAUTIFUL CHEST
THAT STIRS IN ME A KIND OF ZEST

MY UNCLE FEARS THAT I'M A DOPE
BUT I THINK YOU CAN GIVE ME HOPE
AND IF YOU LIKE MY UNCLE'S CHARM
MARRY ME,
IT'LL DO NO HARM”

DONADO:
BERGETTO, YOU'LL RUIN US ALL!

THAT WORDING IS TERRIBLY OFF!

YOUR GESTURES ARE FINE
BUT YOU LACK PROPER TIME
WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING WITH YOU

JUST GO,
AND LET ME WRITE

He sits down at the desk to take up the feather pen.

JUST GO,
AND NOT ANOTHER WORD TONIGHT

I'LL FIND A WAY
TO FIX YOUR FLAWS

BY NIGHT!

DONADO shoos BERGETTO away with feather pen in hand. Once BERGETTO has completely exited, he squints his eyes and begins to craft a letter while looking deeply aggravated.

Blackout.

END SCENE