Epiphanies attained post-Psilopcybin dosing (2g - session 4)

The following content is based post-ceremony of 2g Psilocybin. It took about 3 sessions and two weeks of micro-dosing and I finally managed to cure my depression that hadn't responded to traditional anti-depressants and psychotherapy (even though I found therapy as a helpful aid as it pointed to doors I needed to open when in an altered state). I am not allowed to recommend psilocybin to patients but I am free to write about my journeys and the lessons learnt within those trips. I discovered after my first trip that all my emotional pain wasn't coming from a neuro-chemical disorder but it was in-fact from repressed emotional traumas and multiple issues I just never even thought to deal with. Its as if my mind or soul had been poisoned over the years and all antidepressants were doing for me was decrease the symptoms but they never actually removed the poison itself. Let me know if you would like me to write about my actual journeys and not just concepts thought about the following day.

Here are a few concepts I felt like writing down the day after a rather hard (but healing) journey:

The problem or danger with people stems from the mind not the soul. The concept of “me”, the ego is dangerous. When you die you cannot take all your “me” desires with you, i.e money and assets, bragging rights. The only thing you can take is your virtues and the memories you have, “your story-line”, paint your story in a way that will bring you solace, not in a manner that will make you feel as if you have lived an empty life. Ego is an outdated defense mechanism to help us at times deal with anguish or an attempt try to self-preserve ourselves. It stems from the cerebellar “reptilian mind”. If we all came together in an altruistic fashion the world would be a much better place. The virtue of doing good for others, genuinely doing good and bringing light can make one feel better than anything else that the material plane can actually bring them.

It is also vital to remember that holding onto emotions such as hate, jealousy, resentment damage the soul. Nothing is more damaging then those emotions and one can feel it in the esoteric plane that psychedelics induce. We should be taught in schools from a young age to truly forgive and that cannot be done if we do not practice a deep level of empathy. Thus we should be taught to empathize with others in order in order to lead a mindful life.

We must learn to generate happiness on our own and generate our own self-love. One such manner of fostering a loving relationship with yourself in not breaking virtues or promises made to one self. If you told someone you will help them move their home you commit to your word, but when an individual tells themselves they will diet or exercise and they don’t they are so quick to falter on those promises. If you cannot trust yourself it makes it harder to admire yourself and this in-built admiration is key to attain a deeper level of love, one can be patient with oneself but a genuine attempt to stick to virtues or goals set by the individual is key to a happier daily life. You are divine and hold great power hence act on it and live it, practice self-respect to reinforce this true concept of your own divinity.

In nature if we hypothetically were to erase all human beings, would the concept of evil exist? Think about it.. just nature; no human beings.

The answer is no, evil and tragic levels of malevolence cannot exist without the malevolent human mind as a conduit. The darkness that is born out of a human mind can result in atrocities but the same level of light can also be born of the human mind, we are currently living in a stage where there is a ying-yang of energies trying to balance the darkness being born out of the minds of the neuro-malevolent and the predominantly neuro-benevolent minds are trying to counteract such darkness, we can exist in a realm where more light exists than dark, but as the ancient symbol; of the ying-yang expresses we cannot ever live in a realm of pure light, one must always have an opposite to understand and experience its counteracting “antonym”; the choice is ours as a species on what part of the ying-yang we choose to live on, per say.

A living being must always know how to defend itself and without threat the concept of defense is a mere abstract concept. This example validates the concept that our world within ourselves, mimics the word outside, the external world. If you place a population of pure minds, neuro-benevolent minds onto an island the society created would mimic the internal state of that collective. You would see individuals trying to help each other and that gratitude and their default mode of appreciation would fuel them and reinforce this type of behavior.

Similarly if you place corrupted minds on an island you will likely see the internal world, the broken mental framework express itself in that environment, you would likely have survival driven and ego driven behaviors manifest, such as cannibalism. “I” AM MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU BECAUSE “I” HAVE SOMEHOW VALIDATED THIS CONCEPT IN MY MIND AND NOW I SHALL DEVOUR YOU FOR MY OWN SURVIVAL, because I am stronger and more violent I deserve to live; this is the core virtue of "me" or "my" fueled by a default mode of anxiety. The reward for this faulty construct is survival and satisfaction of a basic primal impulse of hunger. This concept illustrates simply the importance of a mentally health society but also an easy way to understand and thus show compassion for minds that falter off the path of genuine goodness.

The human mind is capable of great feats to do good but as well it is capable of great evil usually starting as a small seed of greed, fear, or paranoia or other forms of false cognitive validation. In-congruent thought, irrational thought and behavior guided or propelled by the human Ego is one of the most damaging things to society as a whole. Humanity should focus as much on curbing exuberant egos as we do on vaccination. Our television and current society breeds ego and the virtue of having money and attracting a partner based on materialistic ideals that feed the ego is wholly damaging to all of us. Too little people admire the light that an individual strives to bring into this world and the passion or creativity they express, for example individuals who dedicate their lives to science to leave a legacy behind, and invention or discovery, a law, a system, a guideline or regulation that will change the world forever and make all existence on the planet more bearable. What ever you do make sure you bring the most light possible. These are virtues within people that should be admired and fueled, its what you contribute on a permanent level not what you contribute to a temporary life.

Another point that one must remember in life is to show compassion. Every soul is pure and only the mind can be corrupted by traumatic events that leads to false notions relating to the world around us. Sometimes defense mechanisms created to protect the individual from the pain experienced is a cold, unempathetic approach to life that continues further past the point of trauma, or a sense of vicious competition; remember survival is one of our core programs. When dealing with individuals with damaged psyche “poking them with a stick”, approaching them with anger and what they have come to know and expect from the world does not in any manner disarm the situation. This is expectant of a malevolent mind and easy for them to cope with, and more damaging as it validates the farcical defense mechanism that do not serve society or them. Nothing can collapse the egos faulty defense mechanism than approaching an individual with compassion and humane treatment. If one is treated with unexpected kindness it leaves the damaged mind in a state questioning its understanding of the world and only this can break down non-serving mental programs.

Recently I had an individual tell me that we should make prisons more uncomfortable. We should not allow prisoners to smoke, we should not allow them a private space, we should not allow them to work-out or play sports or listen to music. Essentially the individual was certain that the prisoners should be made to suffer as they have made others suffer. But think… what kind of individuals will you breed in these prisons? That behavior does nothing but validate their current held mental constructs. Most of these individuals are pushed in life to a point of survival, to steal to survive or kill to survive and hold ranks in a gang for example. No individual actively seeks a life as a gang member or criminal, most individuals would choose a more peaceful life as long as the mind has not been corrupted. Only a mind developing in a dangerous/dark environment can learn behaviors that aid survival in that kind of environment and nothing reinforces that construct more than recreating that exact environment in prison. An “eye for an eye”, is not a solution in any scenario, these individuals should be treated with kindness and grace in order to allow them to reflect on their artificial faulty constructs, their “pathological” mental constructs as compared to societies ideals. I would much rather suggest an environment that breeds a feeling of safety, much high quality psychological treatment, life coaching and treatment with empathy inducing compounds such as ayahuasca and psilocybin in a controlled environment in order to effectively rehabilitate prisoners. Along with this I would suggest conditioning utilizing only exposure to positive stimuli such as no access to horrors or violent movies as these kinds of stimuli may paint a reinforcing illustration of life to the damaged subconscious mind and may feed these negative notions that build a malevolent individuals cognitive paradigm. As much as the average individual may resent this notion, that bitterness or anger that stems an angry response screaming “ NO!, they must suffer”, is along the same lines of thought that the criminal has when he is mugging or harming his victim, “they must suffer as I have suffered”. Once again if you step back and analyze the above scenario you will see that almost all of us hold flawed cognitive frameworks that can propel us to act out small undesirable behaviors, hence compassion should be such a key virtue in our lives and will allow us to find inner peace, as a lack of understanding breeds much internal frustration. How can a damaged mind love and appreciate if we give them no reason and no kindness to love and appreciate their fellow human being? Only by rationalizing, free of the ego can we make the correct decisions with regard to helping individuals in need of true healing.