First of all: My condolences for your poor traumatized self. ;-)

Delicious that you have finally solved the mystery of how it can actually be that men have so much more sexual partners than women and where the mysterious difference actually comes from? Big laughter!

I think there's no such thing as an average man or woman. As you end up saying, these are statistics that make a statement that represents an average - good that you mention that. I can confirm some of what you quote as a study result, not others.

In my opinion, sexuality is something deeply personal not limited to biology but integrating all areas of human life. What els can you expect me saying:)

Since I am at an age where my own sex life no longer plays such a big role, but that of our teenage children, my man and I have asked ourselves the question of how the contraception of our soon sexually active children is going to be. I said: As always, it will be up to the girl to take the pill, because as we all know, condoms alone are far too unsafe and I really wonder why there is no contraception for men (except sterilisation, which is out of the question for teenagers). He said: "After all, it was men who researched and worked as scientists, so it is quite clear that they invented something for the woman and not for the man." I found that quite plausible.

Although we humans are mammals, I am somewhat against spreading the word that the sex drive is something that young men or men in general do not have under control (by this I do not mean the erections that occur but infringements on the opposite sex). I think this is outdated. Otherwise one could just as well say that food is an existential instinct and that we would see a feeding instinct live out uncontrollably in public or at the dining table. Which is not the case.

For me, any argument that cites instinct in a civilized society has lost in the first place. For other instincts can be controlled with ease, since there is always opportunity, space and resources available that do not represent hardship. We have food at any time, we can withdraw into a private sphere (apartment, bedroom, bathroom, shower) at any time, without others disturbing us in satisfying our - thus occurring - instincts.

If man or woman may suffer from having too little sex, my compassion is limited (actually to zero), because sex is not about life or death. Nowadays, certainly not at all.

In addition, what is unconsciously perceived through the family of origin, childhood experiences, films, advertising, literature and the social public, and unconsciously lived out in relationships sexually, is often a very important factor for one's own perceived sexuality and can therefore not be measured. This is where something happens that has an influence and cannot be quantified.

We are more than our hormones and chemicals in the blood, more than the result of a biological evolution. This is not an argument to discredit biology, just my constant attempt to avoid dual thinking, not to have either-or attitude, but to say that nature and nurture inevitably belong together. I prefer the integrative way of thinking and beyond that I would say: We know a lot about both, but let us not overestimate it.

The mystery of man will always remain with us, just like the living itself. If it were different and absolutely certain, our lives would be boring to death and would seem like spoilsports to us. :)

Have a good day, Alex & my sincere greetings to you!