The Captains Log (or lack thereof...)

Y’Arrrr Matey’s!

This old sea-dog has just returned from a plundering of lyrical proportions! And as a fellow Captain (ol’ Jim Tiberius) once told me aboard The Enterprise:

”Fortune favours the bold”

~ James Tiberious Kirk

So with cutlass in hand and me master of arms manning the canon, i did just requisition the treaure of many a scoundrel!

It all started with the clean killing of poor Nathan at my lcs. The damn fool brought out a smattering of loot and laid it before mine eyes with only the briefest of glances at me side-kick. I unwrapped some debt-notes from under me vest and conducted the trade, just as Leon let him have it with both barrels! I do believe the headless corpse was still standing upright as we got buzzed out of the cage. T’was a macabre scene alright, and i may have to steer The Ingot clear of those brain-splattered rocks for a fortnight or so — or at least until the tears of loss have washed away the gore and the memory of todays skull-duggery.

Feast yer eyes scally-wags, even ol’ Silverbeard had his one good eye assaulted by the glare!

First up, a round for the house:

Thar be almost nothing this captain likes more than seeing a seductress stepping over a dead banker!

Next out of the sack be some iradescent ingots that are so gorgeous even the cold-hearted killer Leon was laughing and cooing as he cleaned and oiled his means of production:

Yo ho ho and a bottle of American Whiskey! But i’m still hearing some jingling boys, the loot sack be not half-empty!

I’d say these be good for one’s constitution even if that one (unam) be many (pluribus)! And Avast! There be three old mercs in there too with one of them being impossibly fresh for a 65 year old!

Out in the open air, with the wind at our backs, we tacked hard and sailed atop the briny deep — you’d be a damn fool to think Leon had already re-loaded the shotgun out of mere habitual excellence alone.

We held back at distance and surveyed our mark as some vittels were brought up from the galley:

The young cockswain has decisive aim and a steely eye, and man can that kid eat burger!

So i had called down already and was angling for one JM bar they said they had — i was hoping it wasn’t that “C” series i had passed over last week, but damn my leathery hide if it wasn’t the very same one!

I could feel Leon bristling with silent rage... i asked the guy if thar be anything else tucked into nook or cranny besides the milky maples, Ase’s and Libertads and he came back with a tube of Pan American Miners!!! — Zoinks!

@uglyboy had just suggested i keep me eye peeled for these as they are fetching $50 in the e-bay. Well, for the 20 lot of them, i was shy 2 dollars, the clerk took one look at Leon and said that what i had would be fine — and that was the last thing he ever said...

Ka-BOOM!

From 4 feet away Leon swung the shotgun up, and out from under his blankie, and painted a fine abstract on the wall. We were up and out of there in short order, leaving behind acrid smoke, a fine pink mist and a few farts from the both of us!

As we sailed on home to safe harbour the Assassin dozed out on the top deck — he worked hard today! And now i sit at me desk aboard The Ingot and inscribe the logbook with our coordinates and a summary of todays events.

So in one way there is a captains log, but in another there is not. This cursed stomach flu combined with the recent and nasty flare-ups of the stackitus, has left this befouled sailor with nary a stool but a frequent need for a holy place to sit down! 😳