...T'was back in 06. My small looting craft had been dashed (see what i did there...?) upon the barbarous corals, and my stores of rum and ethereum had been cast overboard with sundry other items. The flotsam and jetsome was thick in the frothy brine. I ferried as many items as i could to the shore of that deserted isle: out again and back again. This time grabbing my ether, that time my flagons of rum -- and next time my sealed baggies of devil's weed and beef jerky. And then, upon the shore i collapsed.

When i awoke it was dawn and i was safe on land. But the pain of loss was heavy upon my shoulder. For my small ship and my chest of treasure had foundered upon the spiny coral.

I brooded. I plotted. And then i swam out to sea to see if i could locate my treasure. At the site of the wreck i dove down and witnessed the bones of my ship: scattered like leaves across an alien terrain. But there at the bottom was the fruit of many a trecherous raid -- my treasure chest... Y'arrr!!!

I was about to swim down when a cold shadow passed beneath me. A flicker of silent dark calmed the seas and even made the gulls stop their cries of gealousy. I had a bad feeling about this. And then, "ker-thunk" my floating body was shunted by something large. I grabbed for my blade and turned just as a large pair of jaws came charging for my blubber. I struck the beast in the eye with my dagger, then karate chopped its nose, followed by a roundhouse to the solar plexus. The beast was stunned! It rolled groaning over and its lone fearsome eye lolled in its murderous socket! That is when i delivered the coup de gras and dispatched that monster to the kingdom of non pc soup.

After towing that hulk to shore, i built a fire. Through the afternoon i rigged a shark cooker and even towed my loot to shore with a vine and a technique i had learned a long time ago on Gilligan's Island.

The Sharkmeat was delicious and i ate and i ate. Afterwards, I fired up some devil's weed to debloat. I drank some rum and huffed some ether. Then, in the buzzing moonlight i sent out me S.O.S. on the blockchain, and regrettably, spouted some vile and ridiculous bullshit about palm trees and coconuts.

When i was rescued i was wearing the hide of the Great White as a cape, and the fearsome jaws were guarding my loot stash. I returned to civilization in style, for the captain was happy to arrange berthing in his finest cabin for a small price in silver coin.

Back in Capetown i was a hero. The bars sang songs about me, the ladies danced and the whole town learned of my travels and took heed to my advice: always carry a knife, and always carry some silver. Y'Arrrr, i say. I'm off to my silver suite of dreams...