If you had met me 6 years ago, chances are you wouldn’t have liked me very much. I was a crazy, energetic, somewhat obnoxious, and angry 20 year old. I had spent most of my teenage years being heavily picked on and shoved into lockers due to being really short; I’m 5’3, which means I can usually fit into kids’ clothes and am easily compacted into a locker. I had bad acne, and I started balding at 17. I was awkward around girls, and wanted so desperately to fit in, angry that I never felt that I could. All of those frustrations compiled over time and I began to put up a wall to shelter myself from any bullying or hurtful comments. I created defense mechanisms in that I was quick to lash out with dismissive and rude remarks if I felt like anyone was even remotely picking on me. I didn’t let anyone in to see who I actually was; instead I put on this fake facade of a confidant guy that had it all together and would be a millionaire one day…with an attitude that said “No problems here, I’ve got it all under control, and one day I am going to be more successful than all of you!” When in all reality, I was miserable, pessimistic, angry, and excruciatingly lonely.
I continued to push people away, when all I truly wanted were genuine relationships and a fulfilling and successful career doing something that I loved. I hit rock bottom after my girlfriend, who I was head over heels in love with, broke up with me after just 10 months and told me that I was too negative and that I needed to change or people wouldn’t enjoy being around me. It was at that time that I began to realize that the problem was me; my horrible attitude was getting me nowhere, and if I didn’t change I would never find true success and happiness.
Attitude is defined as “a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically one that is reflected in a person's behavior.” Typically, an attitude is either positive or negative. Therefore, a positive attitude can be considered as the inclination that someone is functioning within an optimistic state of mind. Positive attitude, positive thinking, and optimism are known to be the root of many positive life benefits. Studies have shown that positive people are more successful and better at coping with stress because they understand that positivity is more than just an attitude, it’s an entire lifestyle.
Overall people with a positive attitude believe that good things will come their way based on their reactions to what life throws at them. When something bad happens, a person with a positive attitude chooses to look at the incident as isolated and beyond their control while consistently searching for ways to make the best of the situation and remain positive towards the future. In my past, I was doing the complete opposite. I assumed that every bad thing that happened was because bad things always seemed to happen to me and would continue to always happen to me. I didn’t look for ways to make the best of the situation; instead I just got angry and more frustrated. What’s important to understand though, is that whether or not you currently have a positive or negative attitude, attitudes are habits and habits can be changed.
Creating and applying a positive attitude to everyday life takes practice. There are six useful steps and skills you can develop that I used which we will cover in this section that will help you develop a positive mindset and learn how to apply it to any situation life may throw at you. Your thoughts are always under your control. As you gain control of your mindset you will gain control of your actions, thereby enabling you to live the positive and successful life that you are meant to live.
All images are sourced from Pixabay
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