Witch chicken and noodles Sue

Another day another lie...

“I feel I’ve been falling for years and never reaching bottom and so will live forever falling out of my tree,” said one sister to the other.

In the coal exchange of this statement and way down the bottom of the rubble pile the exasperated other sister was counting her moments as the Ides of the moon blew through her and caused her to shiver like a Woolworths instalment slipping up the gin, and hot, hot as a marshmallow roasting in the sun.

“A bomb a day keeps the doctor away.”

“And we didn’t catch cancer today and that’s something isn’t it?”

“How long have you been falling for that one?”

“Not long enough it seems.”

“What we need is another good bombing on TV, that’ll cheer us up.

“Oh I do love a good bombing on TV.”

“And maybe they’ll throw in some American precision air strikes.”

“And a surgical pancake...”

“Now what are you talking about?”

“I was thinking about breakfast.”

“Let’s turn on the TV first, I’m getting withdrawal symptoms.”

“Me too... You know, it’s big Buddha day today in Thailand.”

“How do you know?”

“I saw it on the internet.”

“You stay away from that internet, there’s nothing but lies, bad news and subversives there.”

“They said Buddhism is the most peaceful religion.”

“You stay away from Buddhism too. Ours is the only true religion. All others are fake, with false prophets and the anti-Christ and mad bombers.”

“How do you know so much?”

“Trust me dear, it’s all on TV plain to see.”

“And it’s all true?”

“Of course it is, the government wouldn’t allow it if it wasn’t.”

“What would we do without TV?”

“Heaven forbid the thought, but we’d be lost and go mad and end up talking to each other just like loonies in the loony bin.”

“Would you still love me if I went mad?”

“Well of course I will dear, what else are sisters good for if not to look after each other?”

“Do you think we’ll ever be happy?”

“But we are happy dear.”

“We are?”

“Yes, of course we are.”

“It’s just that; I was wondering is all.”

“I told you, stay off the internet or it’ll put thoughts into your head that shouldn’t be there.”

“What would I do without you?”

“Oow look, they’re bombing the rubble where all the mad bombers live.”

“How could anyone live like that?”

“It’s different over there dear, they don’t think like we do.”

“Why not?”

“It’s the heat, it fries their brains and makes them all mad and then they jump into cars full of bombs and go off killing people.”

“Why don’t they move somewhere else?”

“Who would have them dear?”

“We’ve got a spare bed.”

“If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times, stay off the internet.”

“They should all be dead by now anyway, with all the bombs going off everywhere.”

“You can never kill them all dear, they’re fast breeders, and where would we be without someone to bomb?”

“I don’t know.”

“Without the war dear, we’d all go mad and turn on each other, and then where would we be?”

“I don’t know, where would we be?”

“We’d all go back to living in dark caves and talking about out there where we’d fear to go. That’s where we’d be.”

“I’m so glad I’ve got you for comfort.”

“And the TV dear, and the TV.”

“Meanwhile, although the evil queen had pulled so many strings behind the lines of closed doors no one could tell anymore where the lines ended and the truth began; but after much investigating, zero evidence was found to back up the lies of the evil ones in their bastions of hate and anger,” said Han from the news on the TV.

“Turn the TV off dear and come to bed.”

End of part 47

Image from Pixabay

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