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RE: 10 Random Things About Me ... French Forign Legion, Fatherhood & Flatulence
Fascinating read of the morning. :)
Beautiful daughter, they grow up so quick. At 8y.o, one twin daughter already tells me she has a boyfriend...😐. My twins are definitely daddy’s little girls, but I’ve always loved that they adore their dad and are very protective of him. I’m terrible, sometimes I pretend to bully him just to see them get up in arms about it. It’s too funny, they get outraged at his expense, and he loves to hear them tell me off.
And a hopeless romantic? That’s lovely to hear. :)
@linnyplant,
And that's what makes you a great Mom.
The Father-Daughter bond does not come at your expense. It's independent of it. Some Moms I've known are insistent that they should possess the Most Magical relationship with their children and attempt to sideline their husbands.
This is nuts.
Mothering and Fathering are not the same thing. They fill different holes.
I tutor armed with a light sabre (I kid you not). I have no problem with pummeling my students into competence. Effective though it may be, it is not a teaching technique that most women would feel comfortable replicating.
Eventually ... all the kids started showing up with their own light sabres ... purchased for them by their Moms!
And THAT is what Great Moms do. They give their children the unconditional support, and armaments, to withstand ME ... who is going to teach them math no matter how much it hurts. Learning how to adapt to your environment is one of the most important lessons children ever learn. And so, while I taught them quadratic equations, their Moms taught them to defend against the particulars of my tyranny.
Who taught the bigger lesson?
It is precisely those DIFFERENCES in parenting styles that are so valuable to children. Kids take from each parent what they need, when they need it.
Nature knows.
Quill
Eeek! You quoted my very dodgey, terribly typoed comment. Apologies, my first morning read usually means I’m in a rush.
I’m completely against anything but a full partnership in the raising of our children. I interact in real life with more fathers than mothers tbh, so I hear that side a lot. I’ve always found it endearing how doting the ones with daughters are, and quite often strict! For all his over-protectiveness, my husband is a pushover with our girls. He’s basically a slave to our whims, poor man. But he is very much adored by all of us. My kids have sat at the dinner table observing our interaction and adding commentary like:
“Daddy, why did you marry such a bossy lady?”
“Mummy, you need to go to a school where they teach you to be nicer to your husband!”
“I’m not going to be like you mummy, I’m going to be kind to my husband.”
And my favorite:
“Mummy, when I have children, I will get daddy to look after my baby, not you! Daddy is nicer!”
Both my husband and I crack up when they get righteously annoyed at me.
So when he gets grumpy with either girls, which he doesn’t do often because he’s extremely patient, they and I find it quite distressing!
You are right, the differences in parenting styles is valuable in maintaining a healthy balance. It’s is actually me who is the militant one. From when my children were very young, I realized it was the only way I could cope since I never felt like I had enough hands for twins. I would order and march my girls from A to B. Shopping was never an issue, they were little soldiers that needed to stay in line and keep up, or I’d lose them. My husband would complain they acted up with him, but that’s because our girls knew they could. They ate a bit of everything when Mum was at the table, and they didn’t so much with dad, and so it goes on. But my lack of compromise is balanced by his patience and tolerance.
However, I’m the more expressive parent in the show of love, hugs, kisses, and compliments are thrown around like confetti in our household. I understand the nature of my girls and can easily respond to their emotional needs. He isn’t as good with spontaneous encouragement, but he makes a point of being consistent, steady and available. He hugs them and tells them he loves them every night. He always takes the time to comprehensively answer their questions. He gives them a bit more time to finish up what they’re doing. Me, I’m just impatient.
I don’t believe a mother’s relationship is any more magical than that of the father’s. They are different, and if we love our children, we should always consider what would give them the best outcome in achieving the best they could be. I’m grateful he’s dedicated and enjoys his role as father to our children, and that he’s an unfailing source of love and protection. Not that we should compare, but I would not resent my kids preferring their dad over me. I would pick him over me too. I feel he’s earned that devotion. We’re all a fan of dad in our household. Hehehe
If anything, I feel wives should make a point in telling their husbands they are doing a great job, but nothing beats the kids validating this. :)