Earnstein-induced stess relief for the lighthearted

Steemians at our facilities have started asking me questions regarding Steemit lately. Since they know I am highly invested in the platform, they usually ask me, Stratched Scratchford Earnstein, for advice about it. Their cortisol levels are no doubt very high, and so they come to me, because they know my business-related dopamine receptors are working perfectly, and so they come one after the other for guidance, and they all desperately seek to sooth their discomfort and pain caused by their abrupt entry into the crypto world—something our massage therapists seemingly can't help them with. They ask me, "Earnstein, what will become of our oh so beloved Steemit platform?"

"The burgers above is associated with a female presence like something of the gods."

Let me answer this delicate question with a personal anecdote of mine:

When I was much younger than I am today, I was on vacation with my parents on the Canary Islands. It was hot, it was tropic and, most importantly, I was young and eager for new adventures. One day we decided to go to the beach. After enjoying the beautiful, Spanish ocean, we sat down at a nearby beach bar/restaurant and ordered fries and burgers. For some reason, my parents were absent for some time, so I just sat there and enjoyed the amazing environment, the sight of the beautiful sea and, most importantly, the taste of the salty, close-to-perfect fries after an amazing piece of meat between two breads. But there was something else that was just about to happen; something better than all of the described above: When I looked to my right, a girl had appeared right next to me. She couldn't have been more than 20, and other than having a swimsuit on her hips, she was wearing only a towel that covered her upper body. I found her attractive, looked at her pretty face for a while, but then thought no more of it, and returned to eating my amazing meal. After swallowing the last bite, I looked in her direction again—she was still there. But this is when it happened. Like out of some feeling of discomfort, she decided to re-towel herself, so she flicked the towel off of her body...

I saw her breasts...

Yes. I saw them. I repeat: I saw her breasts.

It was as if my entire body caught on fire for a split second, sending the most intense, God-given, newfound feelings all the way across my spine down to my big toe. My adrenaline inhibitors ejaculated its liquid into my body so much that it felt like I was chased by a Mongolian war lord through the jungle.

"This is the look that became of my young face after never having seen breasts, and then seeing them."

Now, you might ask, what does a pre-cum story like this one have to do with the future of our baby Steemit?

Well, Steemit, I guess I would explain it something like this: When I was standing there, I had NO IDEA what was going to happen a minute from then. Despite being abroad in beautiful nature, it was still quite a normal day, a normal beach and, most importantly, a normal, general feeling to it all, but then it became starstruck; I was sent to God himself for a good 5 seconds, and it would stay with me for the rest of my life (assuming I don't die of Alzheimer and forget it). It was more than a boy could ever ask for, and it changed everything in me. This was the thing that caused my body to understand what life was, and from that moment and forth, I understood I had to work hard in life, because the meaning of life is breasts. This is the reason why I am successful today.

"That someone like this could be so moral as to drop the towel for a moment is a miracle in and of itself."

The breasts that were gifted to my eyes that day was like the thing that can (and will) be gifted to Steemit when the time is just right, which could be tomorrow, the day after that, or next week. Maybe even today? Who knows? The thing that will make Steemit work is just like the breasts that made my brain send signals to my entire body that said that "it is the time to take a trip to the gods", and I did visit them that day. I saw them. When Steemit's time has come, there will be something that ignites the powers of Steemit to such an extent that there will be no stopping of our beautiful platform, just as there was no stopping of my life after my eyes were exposed to the breasts that were just a few seconds before covered by a white, beautiful towel.

The breasts were my gift, and Steemit will be given a gift as well. It is only a question of when that gift will be given.

Thank you, and be well!

- S.S. Earnstein