A Letter to a Stay at Home Mum. . .

Dear “stay at home” mum,

I know how hard it is. I know and understand how difficult it can be when you sometimes feel imprisoned when your expected to love every second and every hour of being with your children, but let’s be realistic, it’s sometimes really crap.

I know how awful and guilty you sometimes feel because you wish you were away doing something else because your so fed up of feeling like your life is a routine that goes on day and night and never seems to change. I understand that sometimes it’s difficult to get out of bed every morning because you know that today your just not up to facing the responsibilities that lye ahead of you. I know that sometimes you wonder why you feel this way, you constantly compare and judge yourself and always feel like you should be doing better.

I know it’s difficult to try and entertain your children constantly and I know it’s sometimes boring to play with your children because your worrying about every other thing you need to get done in the house today. I know that sometimes you think to yourself “I’m sure going to work would be 10x easier” and truth is, it probably would be. I know that you look at other parents on social media and compare your own parenting skills and look at them and just wonder how they manage to hold it all together. Truth is, they probably don’t. They probably crumble inside now and again just like you do.

I know that sometimes you wish you didn’t have to spend every last penny on bills, rent, nappies, baby milk and so on and instead you would rather spend it on yourself because your walking around in one of the three pairs of jeans that you own because you can’t afford to buy a new piece of clothing every single week. I know that sometimes you get frustrated because you constantly have to listen to the word “mummy” and you would rather have a conversation with an adult of your own age just for at least an hour.

I know that you sometimes feel guilty about not being able to cook your kids organic and nutritious meals because you just don’t have the time so instead you have to opt for throwing in turkey dinosaurs and beans. Truth is, most kids would probably prefer to eat this crap anyway because what kid actually enjoys eating vegetables anyway?

I know that you envy your friends who don’t have children and sometimes wish to trade shoes with them for one day just to have that taste of freedom again that you once had. I know that your so sleep deprived that your finding it hard to function.

I know how boring it can be staring at the same walls, cleaning the same dirty hand prints on the walls, watching the same kids t.v shows on repeat and washing the same clothes over and over again. I know that you sometimes envy your partner and wish that you could trade lives with them for at least 24 hours so you could have it “easy”.

But let me tell you this, look at the way your children look at you. Even though you may have to stare at the same walls day in day out, mop the same floors, cook the same meals, listen to the word “mum” on repeat and live this daily routine, it’s not forever.

The small hands and faces which you clean will soon grow older. The same clothes that you have to wash on a daily basis will soon be a lot smaller. The toys that you always manage to trip over will soon be collecting dust and no longer used. The walls that you are so fed up of staring and cleaning will soon be pristine and not marked by the beautiful tiny hand prints of your children. The word “mummy” on repeat will be no longer and instead the word “bye mum” will be what you hear on a regular basis as your children no longer wish to cling to you and instead want to venture this big world on their own without clenching your hand. Your house will no longer be filled with laughter, cries, jokes and tears as your children will no longer run around and cause havoc because instead they would rather be cooped up in their bedroom talking to their friends instead of you. They will no longer require you to hold them at night before bed, kiss their tiny cheeks and hold their little hands. They will no longer require your reassurance for their safety or your “magic mummy” kisses to make them feel better.

Embrace these times and precious moments you have now. Forget the cleaning, let them be messy. Hold them just that bit longer, kiss them just that little bit more. Sing to them, play with them, really get into their imagination. Dance, laugh, love them a little longer. Put your phones away and engage with them just that bit more. Take photos, lots of them. Enjoy their company, for one day you will have that freedom again and you may not know what to do with it.

Kids are like shape-shifters, they don’t stay small for long. I know how hard it can be but please remember, it’s not forever and one day, we will wish it were.

Love another “stay at home” mum

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