Have you been struggling to get your posts noticed but still have big dreams about your own big plate of delicious steemers? Here is a simple method for making your dreams come true.

Step 1: Be in Maine

Believe it or not, steemers can be found just by digging in the ground! Some of the entrepreneurial types in Maine harvest these steemers and sell them for about two bucks a pound. If you are on the coast of Maine, all you have to do is look for a little shack like this:

There will be a sign and a button.

Yes, steemers are only a button press away.

Steemers are called clams before they are on your plate. This is where the metaphor begins to break down.

Step 2: Get your steemers CLEAN

Like all worthwhile things in life, you have to get rid of the dirt and grit to get to the precious steemer within. You really should soak your steemers for a while in salted water to make them burp. But I am only human, and I have not the patience to wait. I want steemers in my mouth NOW.

Step 3: Steem your Steemers!

Almost there! I like to saute a LOT of garlic in some butter. Have some white wine ready. You only need about a half a cup for the steemers, so if you care about the environment and don't want to be wasteful you will drink the rest of the bottle.

When the garlic gets soft, crank up the heat. Have your steemers ready! When the pot is hot, dump in the steemers, immediately followed by the white wine. Slap on the lid. Agitate the pot every minute or so. Steemers LOVE to be agitated. In four or five minutes, peek into the pot. Your steemers should all have their mouths open in shock!

Step 4: Profit!

Enjoy your steemers with some melted butter. The environmentally conscious may have to open another bottle of wine.

It should be noted that not every one wants steemers as much as you do. In fact, your significant other may be thoroughly repulsed by them. That's okay! More steemers for you!

All photos are my own, taken in Steuben, Maine.