I share many of your complaints, particularly the prioritizing of site looks over function.

"Yet, again and again, we keep hearing all the crap about: We are not supposed to self-vote, We are not supposed to use bot votes We are not supposed to... blah blah blah"

Unfortunately, what you're experiencing is a community divergence of opinion. All of those items you listed above that I quoted are both ALLOWED by the code ruleset (code is law), but DISCOURAGED in varying degrees by certain members of the community.

The fact is, I think I have the secret to solving this problem (for the proverbial 'you', on an individual level) - stop worrying about what others try to shame you to do, and simply do what others are doing.

Many posters are taking the RoI from MinnowBooster vote buying, for example. It's 20 SBD/week votes bought, maximum. The simple fact is if you don't do this too, you are hampering your profitability (and your curators profitability) by not doing it.

Are you running a blog to be successful/make it a business/get high curation rewards for your followers? Or are you making a stand with your blog, philosophically? Both are equally valid, but decide what you want to do and stick to it.

I'll tell you that I need to prioritize the former, so that I can continue to use my blog to do the latter effectively.

I don't like vote buying bots. I've avoided using them as much as possible. But I have to use MB now (I started today, ironically). If I don't, my payouts are lower, that makes my curation rewards for my followers lower, and it gives them a game-theory reason to vote for someone other than me who will use MB.

I'll tell you that you are a small and hard-working poster, and you are reasonable and engage with people. Nobody at all would have a decent argument for calling you out for using MinnowBooster (for example), or voting your own posts 100%. Anyone who tries to shame you away from this is probably already established and has some ulterior motive for keeping you out - similar to erecting new licensing requirements for, say, medicine to keep the "old doctors" in and the "new doctors" out.

Anyway, I put you on my auto-voter, and I would encourage you to use MinnowBooster if you want to make a couple extra bucks a week. Vote for yourself if you want. Any vote you can defend objectively is fine. If you write a mile in someone's comments and get nothing for it, I will support your right to vote it whatever you think it is worth.

Btw, so would Dan Larimer. The beauty of Steem is it's much closer to a truly free market. This means people will do things we all don't like, and it really is "easier" to go with the flow on things you can't change. Remember, you need the "wisdom to tell the difference".