Relationship: signs you’re more of an option than a priority to them

Are you a primary focus in your partner's life, or are you simply a choice they resort to when other options are unavailable or exhausted?

Be truthful.

You should have a partner who makes you feel cherished, not someone who contacts you when their 'real' plans don't pan out.

You're entirely justified in expecting your significant other to allocate time for you. No one would fault you for ending a relationship with someone who doesn't prioritize you.

Being someone's backup or fallback is fundamentally unfair to you. You're not the person who idles in uncertainty, waiting for your partner to become interested enough to engage with you.

And if you find yourself in that position, why is that the case?

Please, avoid being in that situation. It won't lead to a positive outcome for you. It's a harsh truth, but a truthful one.

Here are some indications that you might be viewed as an option rather than a priori7ty by your partner. If too many of these resonate with you, it might be time to reconsider the nature of your relationship, or if there truly is one.

1. Is this even a genuine relationship?

Do you feel like you're an afterthought rather than being in a committed relationship? Does it seem like you're being used?

Ask yourself:

Do you discuss your interests? Do you envision a future together? Are you going on proper dates? Have you met each other's families and friends?

Or are you the person who answers their call late at night when nobody else would?

Let me emphasize, there's nothing inherently wrong with casual relationships, as long as both parties are on the same page. This is crucial. You can't be mentally planning a future with someone who sees you as a casual encounter. If that's not what you signed up for, don't settle. Seek a relationship with clearer boundaries and labels.

1. Lack of labels

Does your partner resist labeling your relationship? Are you introduced as a 'friend' rather than a girlfriend or boyfriend?

Refusing labels suggests that your partner might not be interested in a serious commitment, at least not with you. Did you agree to this arrangement, or do you find it unsatisfying and yearn for more?

1. They disregard your needs

Why would they consider your needs if they don't genuinely care about you? They likely only think about their own needs and expect you to fulfill them without reciprocation.

When you're just an option, you exist solely to cater to their desires, and only when it suits them. Even then, you're often the one initiating contact and suggesting meet-ups.

1. They rarely initiate contact

Are you consistently the one reaching out, whether through calls, texts, or making plans? They seldom initiate contact, and when they do, it's usually when they have nothing better to do. Sometimes, they might not even respond or offer brief, closed-ended replies. These are not the actions of someone who prioritizes you.

1. You're never their top priority

When faced with a choice between spending time with you or engaging in other activities, your partner doesn't hesitate to choose the latter. They consistently prioritize everything and everyone else over you. If they do reach out to you, it's likely because their other plans have fallen through. If you're only on their radar when they have no other options, you're not their priority.

You don't feel valued by them, because you're not.

1. They don't make you feel important

Would your partner notice if you took a step back and didn't respond to their calls and texts? Do they value your thoughts and feelings, or do you get the sense that you don't matter to them at all?

If you feel like your partner doesn't consider you a priority, it's time to reevaluate the relationship.

1. They don't make you feel special

If you're just an option, your partner likely treats you like everyone else in their life, if not worse. You probably sense that others hold more significance in their eyes.

If they fail to recognize your worth, they're not the right person for you.

1. They never introduce you to their friends and family

Does your partner avoid introducing you to their inner circle? When they make no effort to integrate you into their social sphere, it's a clear sign they're not serious about you.

1. You're stuck in the friend zone

You find yourself relegated to the friend zone, and it's not easy to escape. In reality, they're not prepared for a committed relationship with you, and they likely never will be. If you bring up the nature of your relationship, you won't receive a positive response.

1. Plans always revolve around their convenience

When you're just an option and not a priority, your desires and needs take a backseat. This type of partner prioritizes their own wants and expects you to accommodate them without reciprocity.

You constantly adjust your schedule to fit theirs, always waiting for a window of their availability. This dynamic is entirely one-sided, with little regard for your own schedule.

Why do you tolerate this?

In essence, they treat you poorly. Deep down, you know you're not receiving the treatment you want, need, and deserve. You're the backup plan, not a true partner. They're not interested in a lasting relationship with you.

It's time to walk away from this unsatisfying situation. You deserve more than being a mere option.