Weight a minute!

A while ago, I was browsing channels on telly when I stumbled on an entertainment station that basically only shows celebrity inspired shows, with the Kardashians being the main theme. If you don’t know who the Kardashians are, good for you, I envy you actually. Wish I didn’t too. Anyway they were showing some teenage sensation called Kylie who had just had a baby. Wonder why it needs to be a big deal when millions of women give birth everyday. Oh well…

The bit that made me hang on to the channel for a bit longer was the fact that they were showing her before and after baby pics. I mean here she was a mere week later and her tummy was flatter than some of us who are neither pregnant nor have we ever been.

It literally made me drop the huge piece of oily chicken that I was about to stuff in my mouth and really evaluate my life choices. Where had I gone wrong. I mean I am not over weight by any means but I could really do better. I should be making the right choices and to be honest it wouldn’t hurt if I lost a few pounds. I mean when you see a woman who just gave birth and is fitter than you it should awaken the health freak in you.

A close friend keeps yapping how weight gain is her biggest fear and to be honest it used to irritate the ish out of me, the girl doesn’t take any junk food at all. Her food is almost boiled which makes hosting her a night mare since I basically have to make her food separately or let her make her own ‘tasteless’ food, with oily food being my favorite. It’s a bad habit that has taken me a while to get over. She’s staying over so I’m hopeful that her good eating habits will rub off on me and not just the random green tea.

So what’s with the recent obsession with weight loss especially in our African society. I thought ‘we’ as African women had the liberty to be a bit heavy as it’s a show of ‘wealth’ or some made up story I don’t care to remember, but chose to believe. Ha! I’ve always been proud of my curves, still am, but my stomach could be flatter, arms could be less wobbly and the turkey neck doesn’t need to be there. If a woman can give birth and still have a flat tummy 7 days later, then there’s definitely hope for me. And so that’s where my decision to start my weight loss journey began.

I started jogging in the morning, going to the gym, watching my food portions and even joined some weight loss group on social media to get some much needed psyche. I was dutiful in my workouts. Waking up early in the morning and wearing my cute workout outfit, it helps that my workout gear is cute, girl problems! It has to be tight and bright colored too. So that when am sweating in the gym I can see my ‘assets’ giggle and try and see if there’s any noticeable change in my weight. Plus who knows who you might meet at the gym. Could be my next soul mate or ex husband.. Lol!

But after a whole 7 days or so, I was done. Done I tell you! Done! My whole entire body ached. Even taking a shower was a challenge. My poor arms were like spaghetti. And I had a noticeable limp for several days. I decided to leave the instant weight loss to the Kardashians and Coco’s of this world. As for my tummy, I will try those waist trainers, which is basically a corset that’s suddenly been renamed. But I think I can afford to have my organs squashed for the purpose of beauty. I think!

People have gone through worse for the sake of beauty. From having a few ribs chucked, to some who willingly swallow tapeworms to entice severe diarrhea or loss of appetite, I know, gross. The extent that people will take to be thin is unimaginable. So as long as the weight is healthy then I could wear that ‘corset’ oh! excuse me it's called a waist trainer. I hope the tummy flattens after sometime, but if it doesn’t I’m fine with it. I have a million problems but my weight ain’t one! Tough!

But in an effort to not look like a quitter, I will try and take brisk walks around my neighborhood, try and swim a bit more and eat less carbs. And hope that will somehow work. But heavy workout is not for me at all. And to think I was the 100m champ in my high school. Hmmm….life happens!