I have anxiety

I have been depressed for years I did to many drugs growing up it has affected my life so bad I cant seem to figure out how to write it all out but i share a pieace I've been to a mental hospital I've been to juvinile hall as a young teen also in and out of court many times a grip of tickets cant seem to hold a job I left the only girl that loved me now shes married I dont have a decent size penis I cant hold a job to save mt life my parents think I am a loser i dont blame them im not good at sports anymore I no longer have motivation to work out my grammar is terrible I hate the way I look im so short everyone makes fun of me I always got picked on and lied to I feel like a whimp should I just kill myself Im 23 never graduated dont know how to even go back to school dear person reading this I wrote what i could im horrible at social media I never post of myslef im just a ghost on the internet and a nobody in real life