relationships

Sometimes in life we get so focused on being un-alone we will do anything to avoid it.

For some, once in a relationship — even a terrible one — they’ll fight to the death to keep it.

But staying in a bad relationship is akin to sentencing yourself to a life of misery. Who’d want that?

Turns out, a lot of people do. Heck, some act like a life of misery is the thing they want most.

The thinking is that being alone is worse. And the mindset is, “I won’t find anyone better.”

(That’s utter BS of course. And I’m not going to try to persuade anyone here who disagrees, you’re welcome to be wrong.)

But look. It is a mistake to think that being in a bad relationship is better than being in no relationship at all.

Consider:

Being single is far healthier for you than being a miserable twosome; I
Being single is the best platform to meet someone amazing, and start something amazing with them (typically startingsomething amazing when you’re already in a relationship just does’nt happen.)
If you are currently in an unhappy relationship, it might be a good idea to have a think why that is. Trust me, you’ll win no medals for tolerating unhappiness in this world (and yet there’s a lot of competition..)

Don’t get me wrong.

No relationship is perfect, and all successful relationships require effort to some degree. It would be naive to expect pure joy and happiness at every step with your partner.

But if the misery is chronic and your partner’s the cause.. AND they’re unable or unwilling to change, reconsider.

Get help or get out.

(Sometimes the help only confirms you have to get out.)

While I help people repair broken relationships, even when their partner has made it clear in no uncertain terms that they’ll never give them another chance..

Sometimes the relationship my client wants to save is actually a really terrible relationship. So I have to tactfully explain this is so. And recommend they put all their effort into keeping that bad relationship firmly in the past.

Sometimes it really is better to be alone.

// SHIZZLE

PS. It’s one thing to acknowledge when being single is better, but it’s another thing entirely to get your feelings to align with that decision. Yep. Relationships end, but the feelings don’t..

Not immediately anyway.

I ask myself questions like these every week:

Shizzle,I can’t stop thinking about my ex..” or..
Dapsy, I want to move on but I can’t stop worrying about the future” or..
“What happened haunts me everyday, how do I stop my mind thinking about it?!”
And so on..

Such thoughts are extremely common.