SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE

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Even in a great relationship, you will have disagreements. That's why you need to learn to fight fair. Paul addresses it this way, "Speak the Truth In Love”, growing in every way more and more like Christ.
Ephesians 4: 15

But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ

If you grew up in a home filled with tension and angry words, you may fInd yourself trying to avoid arguments at any cost. But silence does not solve problems; it just allows them to become unspoken wedges between you. What should youdo? First, try to understand the difference between healthy and unhealthy conflict.

In an unstable marriage, hostility is aimed at your spouse's soft underbelly with comments like, "You never do anything right" and why did I marry you in the fIrst place? "And you are getting more like your mother every day". Such remarks strike at the very heart of your spouse's self-worth.

Healthy conflict, by contrast, remains focused on the issues that cause disagreement. For example, 'it upsets me when you don't tell me you're going to be late for dinner', or 'I was embarrassed when you made me look foolish at the party last night.‘ Can you hear the difference? Even though the two approaches may be equally contentious, the first assaults the dignity of your spouse while the second addresses the source of conflict. When you learn to make this important distinction, you can work through your disagreements without wounding and insulting each other. Plus, when gaining the upper hand leaves your spouse feeling wounded and upset, you both lose. Remember, when someone feels loved and valued, they're generally more Open and receptive to what you have to say. Remember, that “A Soft Answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger". “The tongue of the wise uses knowledge aright, but the mouth of fools pour out foolishness, Proverbs 15: 1-2. For you to find rest for your soul, you must have the mind of Jesus Christ.