This year was not a good year..though I am not complaining... .I'm alive and it could have been worse. I have some pretty high goals set for myself and I'm excited to start. I was married for 19 years to a very very abusive man. Physically, verbally, financially and he was unfaithful throughout our whole marriage including with my sister. I don't know what happened. ..I graduated high school with a 4.0 G.P.A. Received a scholarship from the Navy Wives Club and had a free ride Cal grant A and B plus free financial aid for four years. I was young ..okay looking ..confident and happy. So I'm unsure how I allowed myself to become this person. I had left numerous times but always returned. ..I truly believed I loved this man and was doing the right thing. In 2014 I moved out and divorced him. For a good year I felt young , happy and free. But by 2016 I was back with him. Not really violent now..but not really a relationship either . ..he asked me to marry him and I got happy I was sad being alone ...I felt old. .I put on weight again ..A LOT of weight . I have a severe panic disorder and have been in disability for 6 years now. ..this isn't how I saw my life. He needed a mommy and I needed a crutch . So with that being said you now know my back story. This year I found out I'm pre-diabetic..borderline high blood pressure. .and super FAT. I am undergoing more tests currently as well . SO # 1 I will change my eating no more fast food or processed food . I will follow my Drs orders. And starting an excersise program with a personal trainer. I have already begun the process. I cleaned my house out of all bad foods and have my first appts. scheduled with a dietician and trainer. This will be hard but my head is in the game..I'm going eat to live..not live to eat...I do not want to be an emotional eater any longer...I'm not trying to die this year :) Also #2 after Christmas I have worked out another living situation. ..I do not want to marry him ..I just thought I did because I had no faith in myself. This too is a scary move for me ..but I can do it. Also I have been accepted to the four year dental hygienist program at UNLV...only 40 people are chosen each year and I was one of them. That's pretty exciting! I was a C.N.A for 10 years. .so this is kinda up my alley but I would be paid double and choose my own hours which helps when you have an anxiety disorder. And I want to be self sufficient NOT on disability.
So school is # 3. I have spent years as a shut in..being so sick this year made me realize. .it's what I didn't do that I regret. I need to have a life and live it not just exist! ! So # 4 go out...make friends and volunteer somewhere. # 5 SAY NO!! Over the years I have become a doormat....I do for everybody else and nothing for myself. ..I don't mind doing for others. ..but not when I'm being used and its not returned . And lastly # 6
I am going to invest money into crypto currencies. ..join the rest of the world :) These are BIG GOALS and I will have struggles...but I WILL SUCCEED!! And I plan on sharing and journaling it all on Steem !! :) Could use all the the encouragement and support I can get :) :) Sorry this was so long ...I just wanted everyone to understand where I was and just how hard it will be to get where I'm going...but I WILL GET THERE!!

Thanks for reading this :) :)