"Is this how i will eventually become?"; is now a pertinenter question in my mind.

Why do you torture yourself with such thoughts? Why do you think you will walk that path? I know that in this situation, it is easy to give in to melancholy and this is where your strength and faith will be stretched limitlessly but you must continue to have that positive outlook on life, you must keep hope alive, you must keep trusting your maker. You will carry your father's age-long dreams to fulfilment, your own dreams you will also see to accomplishment. Please be drop dead positive that things will be fine. Stop looking at the storm, it is scary, keep looking at the one who has the ability to calm them and walk over them. Take good care of your papa, take good care of you.