Just my two cents on some beliefs I see within the Spiritual/Healing community, and many religious communities....

 

Just my two cents on some beliefs I see within the Spiritual/Healing community, and many religious communities....

The belief goes something like this "If you want to know if you are over it and/or have truly forgiven, go visit your family" (or fill in the blank with whomever hurt you). It is taught that if you are really healed, have really forgiven, you will no longer be bothered by the behavior of the person and they can no longer hurt you, and the proof of that is reconciliation/relationship.

I'm going to risk the backlash of what I am about to say, but hey, maybe someone needs to hear/read this....maybe that person is ME!

I call B.S. on that concept. Yes, "Bovine Squish!" Let me paint a picture.....

A woman finally finds the strength to leave her abusive husband after he breaks her arm. As part of her healing someone suggests hypnosis or tapping to help her heal, both physically and emotionally. Or perhaps someone suggest she counsel with her Rabbi or Pastor, or Yogi or some other Spiritual Guru. After many months of practicing one, or all, of these modalities she feels strong and confident. She understands her husband is a spiritual being on a spiritual journey, a hurting individual who didn't really mean to hurt her. So they recommend she tries it again with her husband, who has had no such treatment, but vows he will do better.

It doesn't take long before once again he lashes out in his own hurt and breaks her other arm. But this time she doesn't leave, She just prays and taps, taps and prays. She sees her hypnotist twice a week because she is trying so hard to let go of the anger, the fear he will do it again, because after all, she is "healed" and "Spiritual" so that means she MUST understand where he is coming from and be forgiving, which means staying in the relationship....right?

Wrong! And the majority of intelligent and compassionate people would tell her to get out and stay out! They can see the evidence of the damage he continues to do. They advise her that she must love herself enough to get out of there and stay out! And I would agree!

But when it is emotional, mental or spiritual abuse people seem to take a different stance, This should not be the case. It has been proven again and again that the scars we can't visibly see go deeper than the ones we can. They deserve every bit as much respect, care and compassion as the physical ones.

Perhaps the reason Tapping isn't working, or your Spiritual life is stunted, is because you keep going back for more abuse...what I call "drinking the poison". Your soul, that inner YOU, that knows what you need has been trying to get your attention. It will use your physical health, as well as your emotional health, to get your attention. To get you to see that there is something toxic to you that you are trying to be okay with.

I believe we are ALL spiritual beings, on a journey to self love, unconditionally loving ourselves FIRST. Now, that doesn't mean we allow ourselves to continue in behaviors that are harmful to us....that is not love. Neither is it love to allow others to do things that are harmful to our purpose in coming to this world. It is not loving to us or to them.

Consider this for a moment, and then a moment more....What if YOU are actually stunting them in their spiritual experience? What if by continuing to accept them "the way they are" and continuing a relationship with them, or reconciling over and over, is keeping THEM stuck? You may think you are rescuing them from pain, but you may very well be prolonging it. You may be what keeps them from getting to the place of feeling the depths of their wounds, which in turn keeps them from doing their own healing work...ultimately stunting them from truly experiencing their own unconditional love for themselves.

In doing so you are also stunting yourself, hindering your own Spiritual experience. We cannot harm another without also harming ourselves. Therefore it is not love to allow any form of abuse to continue, not abuse inflicted on us by others nor abuse we inflict on ourselves. I can't speak for you, but as for me, I am going to take this advice and live my life accordingly...forgiving myself when I slip back into old patterns and "TAP ON IT" until I rewrite the program I have been running on that has kept me living a life less than I came here to experience.