Ayahuasca, witch hunts and the meaning of life Part II
If you missed part I: https://steemit.com/spirituality/@moonbatlives/ayahuasca-witch-hunts-and-the-meaning-of-life-part-i
Let me pause and say I already have a business that will be opening in March/April and this question wasn't about maing money or working. It was about who I got to be free of those chains. I know money won't be a concern once it is up an running, but after that first journey I knew that I had to discover who I was outside of those definitions.
This time she started me on half of the dosage rather than the quarter. From the start it was different. While I was a social butterfly my first journey, this time I choose to go inside and for the most part be by myself.. This didn't manifest exactly as you might think. I quickly latched on the another women I knew there, and her to me. We didn't speak much but we lay close together and held each other. It was comforting to know she was there and even more comforting to know I didn't have to entertain her. We were just each in our own world only sharing physical space. It seemed not too long before, the medicine woman showed up again with another half of the medicine dose. That is when shit got real. I wanted my own space, and so did my friend. We parted ways and I lay under my blanket occasionally relocating from a mat to the fire pit then the porch, repeat.
I began to go deeper and deeper into thought. I felt stuck. it wasn't a bad feeling, just one were I knew I was headed somewhere and it seemed unreachable. I asked one of the staff to sit with me. After a while she asked "what's coming up for you? what are you experiencing?" "Stuck" I lay so still my breath light, it almost felt like I had an umbilical feeding me oxygen and all I needed. With closed eyes I say a vision of a kaleidoscope like tunnel and I was flowing through it toward a light at the end of the tunnel. Each time I got close there would be a bend in the tube and it would be farther. "stuck" I repeated. She asked if I had been worked on by the body worker, I hadn't. She summoned him. He began to work on me. It wasn't massage, it was light touch, tapping, sounds and rocking. He sat behind me, used he his hands and his feet to move my body into what can only be described as a feeling of floating. I kept turning corner after corner in my tunnel, it was always out of reach. After what felt like forever, the body worker told me, " you aren't going to get there with this passive breathing. You have to breath with purpose and intensity. breath rhythmically" and so I did. Within a few breaths the tunnel stared to fade away revealing light that surged with brightness. The constrains of earth seemed to fall away, I could see the space between me and all that I sensed around me fading. Touch turned into cells, that turned into air. I heard someone breathing next to me so I began to match their breath pattern as the matched mine. As they did this I say their physical shape start to melt away and they became light, with small glitches showing me their form again when the breath didn't match up. we worked together until the light consumed them, then finally me. I wasn't surrounded by light, I was light, the light and there was nothing but light. A friend laying near me reported to me this morning that she watched this all occurring. it seems she was the one I was sharing my breath with. She described her experience as watching a birth. It's a lot like how I felt. I remember making a noise as I realized that oneness of the light and it sounded a lot like the sound I made as my babies descended out of my body. A exuberant sigh of relief with a tone of excitement and satisfaction. It lasted maybe three seconds, but it was enough to know that we are all one being separated only by the fact out breath is out of sync.
Tripy right?
Immediately after I took my physical shape again the medicine began to wear off. It had done it's work and it was time to reintegrate. I walked outside were others were sitting around the fire and joined them in smoking some cannabis. As we lay there the medicine woman joined us. One of my friends asked her if she considered herself a witch. Her answer and the conversation that pursued is what has forever change the way I do me.
"If by witch you mean Earth Goddess then yes." My friend responded with masterful words on witch craft, sisterhood and humanity. I will proceed in the first person as if it was her speaking.
Continue to part III:
https://steemit.com/spirituality/@moonbatlives/ayahuasca-witch-hunts-and-the-meaning-of-life-part-iii