The Buddha Habit (tm) - Desire for money
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We have been raised in a culture bombarded by media brainwashing us that money will bring you happiness. The rich and famous are the ones you should idolize and try to be like, screw everyone else, it's all about you. Money will buy you time to do whatever you want, travel and see the world and buy you any material object, including attention from those you desire to be with. Obsess over it, be jealous of those who have it, suffer in your current condition of not having it or never having enough. Of course we know deep down none of this is true. Sure we have all daydreamed about what it would be like to win the lottery at one time. But enough of us have seen what money and fame does to people. There may be brief moments of happiness but the nagging emptiness within us remains. No amount of money, possessions or conquests can ever fill it. That is the lie that we've been sold from the first time we turned on a TV.
Money isn't a bad thing, we need it to live obviously. But the DESIRE and obsession with it is what we need to deal with. I used to worry about money all the time. The money I had saved, the money I spent, the money I invested and worried about for the future. I worried about whether or not someone was screwing me on a business arrangement. I thought about how much I could negotiate someone else lower so I could get a better deal. I had anxiety about business meetings and opportunities. I had so many thoughts about money on a constant basis and there was never enough. I was so distracted by it and wasted so much time being consumed by it. It's not our fault really, we have been brainwashed intentionally to get us to a point of being debt slaves of mass consumption.
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My awareness moment started making me really look at myself and all the unconscious emotions surrounding all of my previous life's actions. When anxiety of money concerns hit, instead of becoming fearful or filling my head with countless "What if?" scenarios in my head, I was able to merely watch this anxiety and have it dissipate into nothingness. As in all things of the mind, the hardest part is to catch yourself in the act. As soon as you start daydreaming about winning the lottery, or envy of some movie star's life, or countless similar scenarios concerning money, stop and watch yourself indulging in these thoughts. I usually say to myself, "Oh, you're doing that pattern you've been doing your whole life". Then I meditate by closing my eyes, focusing on my Third Eye (look up slightly, focus on a point in space between your eyebrows), breathe in thinking, "I am not my body", breathe out thinking, "I am not even my mind". It is something I learned from Sadghuru and is a wonderful way of breaking the cycle of your mind's thoughts. The reason you do this is to stop your mind from wandering down a road of unconscious thought that may lead to emotions of say depression for your lack of money, envy for someone else having money, ecstasy for coming into some money only to lead to depression for losing it. So many emotional roller coasters surround the concept of money. As the second of Buddha's "Four Noble Truths", Suffering arises from attachment to desires".
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I've found this method of dealing with emotional Desire has fundamentally changed me. Now I no longer feel the same about money. The burning desire I used to have has been replaced with an almost non-chalant ambivalence. I still recognize it's importance and continue to pursue business opportunities to earn it. But the desperation surrounding it is no longer there. I approach business in a completely different way now. Because I'm more calm about it, opportunities seem to be happening more frequently. I'm no longer consumed by lost opportunities. I don't obsess about negotiations. I'm no longer confused by seemingly infinite variables I am attempting to negotiate and control. Things feel simpler to me now.
I no longer feel the need to buy things. Possessions don't mean that much to me anymore. I've been recently selling a whole bunch of stuff I don't use. I don't even worry about the future. It sounds strange but it's true. There is a freedom you can achieve from Desires and the suffering caused by the emotions surrounding them. It is found within yourself by becoming aware of your own mind and controlling your thoughts. With practice you can become detached from who you think "you" are and become the "Watcher" instead. You break the cycle of your mind's self induced suffering, repeating the same patterns you've been repeating your entire life.
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