aw thanks actually feels so much better that the holidays are over.. next year if my circumstances are similar im officially having a holiday hahaha think we all have some repressed stuff to deal with at some point in our lives.. mine was terrible yes and only started to really go into it within the last year. All different one's impossible to categorise them some are really blunt and uncomfortable, others shorter and sharper these seem to pass the quickest providing i can deal with them in the moment.. literally had no idea a year ago that i'd be where i am now