In To Me I See: WTF Is Intimacy Anyways?
This morning I was chilling in the shower, just thinking about intimacy.
And no guys, I wasn't jacking off lol
And even if I was it wouldn't be that interesting to write about.
(I say that now but just wait, tomorrow I'll probably have this brilliantly insightful masturbation story to share)
But wow, I digress...
I was actually just thinking about the concept of intimacy.
Over the past few weeks I've had some experiences with a close friend where our definitions of intimacy have been challenged and explored.
Thus I've been thinking more about this a lot lately...
WTF is intimacy anyways?
I have questions...
What would intimate friendships, lovers, communities, nations, worlds look like?
What do non-intimate friendships, lovers, communities, nations, world look like?
Is one better than the other? Should we strive for one over the other?
How about an intimate galaxy?
What would that be like?
Would that just assume a galaxy in which all worlds are aware of the interconnection between all things?
I'm going far out now... lets bring it back in again.
What would it be like to have an intimate relationship with yourself?
Do you feel you have that type of relationship with yourself?
Personally, I feel like I do because I often feel like I don't understand myself, so I guess it's more of a priority for me.
But it's definitely taken me awhile to truly get to a place where I feel I have an intimate relationship with myself.
I feel like the more I discover that sense of intimacy with myself, the more I desire to share that sense of intimacy with others.
The more I see me in me, the more I search for me in others.
That's kind of a weird statement though...
Almost like, extremely narcissistic lol.
But I mean, can we actually look for anyone else besides our self in others?
I can feel things about you, but those feelings are mine.
You can do things to me, but I can only feel them with MY five senses (or six if you're counting intuition...which I imagine is another topic altogether when we're speaking of intimacy).
So ultimately, I'm always interpreting you THROUGH me.
And thus, would it then make sense that the more intimate you and I become, the more intimate we are becoming with our own selves?
As I peer more into you, I'm peering more into me.
As you peer more into me, you're peering more into you.
So what really is intimacy then?
At this point in my life, my best definition is that intimacy is the journey towards ME.
Intimacy IS (in my own interpretation) the understanding of who I AM through my senses, feelings, experiences, observations, and interpretations.
It IS the ultimate act of understanding identity.
It IS the ultimate truth: that we are all one and interconnected.
Strangely enough, that interconnectedness comes through the realization that we can only truly know the self...which is why I say that we are all one!
WTF!
I just basically said that intimacy has nothing to do with anyone else except for yourself...
To me that's just like... well pretty much the OPPOSITE of what I think of initially when I think of being intimate with someone.
This ultimately means that every experience, thought, opinion, belief, value, feeling, etc, etc, is merely my own.
Every interpretation I have is of my own...
And that kinda feels a bit lonely at first.
Like it's just me, taking responsibility for MY feelings, and no one else is accountable for what I feel.
Interestingly enough, when I do FEEL intimately connected, then suddenly the world feels really fucking intimate!
I FEEL a great sense of connection with the world again...
I FEEL a sense of family, of love, of appreciation, of caring...
But in the end it's just because I am peering more into me.
Because in to me I see...
That in-ti-ma-cy stems from me!
(Mind blown)
Woah! That’s a lot to take in! I see intimacy as the inner most relationship you can have with either God or another person. To me it means a crazy deep emotional, spiritual, and sometimes physical connection with another soul. It is a strong understanding of the person you are in relationship with.
While yes, being in relationship with yourself and learning about yourself on a continually deeper scale is important, it is also important to truly grasp what makes the other soul happy as you constantly find ways to serve and enrich their life.
So, at ground level, being intimate is having that raw sense of connection along with that pure, unfiltered understanding of who you are in relationship with ✌🏻
-Ken
Posted using Partiko iOS
@kenmelendez
I love this definition! Definitely resonates with me.
Who is this other soul you speak of? You mean the person you're connecting intimately with I assume? Are you saying that it's important to be aware of the needs of others? I definitely agree if that's what you're referring to there. However, I know that I can never bring someone else happiness, it's something they must find for themselves. I might know what things tend to lead to happy times and I also might know what their needs are, but I know I'm never in control of how someone feels.
Loving it brother! That raw, unfiltered shit is the tough love that leads to beauty and bliss.
I also like how you brought the concept of God into this (doesn't surprise me knowing you Ken), but it made me think of "the self" and ask the question, "is my self, God?" If I had to answer that question right now I'd say that I am a part of God, experiencing its self. Thus the self I refer to IS God and thus I am a part of God collecting data through experience to understand more of what I am.
Nice :)
Peace.
This post has been selected for curation by @msp-curation by @clayboyn and has been upvoted and will be featured in the weekly philosophy curation post. It will also be considered for the official @minnowsupport curation post and if selected will be resteemed from the main account. Feel free to join us on Discord!
@clayboyn and @msp-curation team, thank you! I am quite grateful :)
@axios Clear as mudd :D
Hey brother, I love this. Answers are a dime a dozen, good questions are priceless, and this post is full of good questions :)
In my experience, intimacy with another is a state you reach where there is no BS, there's no point in lying because well one, there's just no point, because you don't want to and 2) well the other person knows you well enough to know that it's BS anyway.
The most intimate relationships I've had, have been with people that I've tripped with (particularly DMT and shrooms). It's a relationship that from the external perspective of another may seem sexual, but that would only because they don't have an understanding of the level of the intimacy involved. As such it also transcends gender (I have male friends that I am intimate with too).
Intimacy does not exclude sexual acts, but where they occur, it's never actually about sex.
This is a key point, because we can only ever do this.
It's why trolls always make me laugh, because the more they have to say about you, the more they reveal about their own mind states.
I personally think that collectively, the human race is still in its infancy in understanding inimacy. There's still a lot of sexual repression from the dark ages that needs to be addressed before we can further explore intimacy.
Great post :)
Peace.