You words are such a joy to read! ❤️
I know this feeling of "not belonging here" so well - not because of the color of my skin, but because I function so completely different than nearly all other people around here, that I always felt like an outsider. That's why it's such a pleasure to meet people like you - even "only" virtual...
Still having many moments during my daily life, where I'm feeling so insecure, that I feel as the source of unhappiness of other people.
I walk into a room where someone feels bad and immediately my inner response is: "Have I done something wrong? Did I cause the other person to feel unhappy?". It's sometimes shocking to see how deep these patterns run - even after years in spirituality and "working on myself", I still have these feelings of insecurity. What I have learnt is, that sharing these stories, does help others as well as myself. There is a huge empowering effect for us empaths, to openly admit our insecurities.
As Matt always says: Let us become so self-confident about our intuition and our feelings, as a narcissist naturally is about their personality.
This is also how we can learn from narcissists as the journey continues...