Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm damaged, maybe I'm the most wrong as she said again

Maybe I'm not good at all, maybe I will fail this project also.
Into the Christmas eve, without my house, without a house, without a wife, without a kid, after 7 same years, she again don't love me and don't have space because of me and because of my project, not sleeping well and wake up in the night and she hears my steps, anyway.
She says that also my associate thinks I'm crazy and that had searched me and take me, especially because I'm so crazy and to use me, as my past workplace did also 21 years, but they don't say to me. Also, she said my mom, my brothers, and my sisters and her mother and her sisters all said that I'm damaged and crazy but that they'll never say to me. I asked them and they don't confirm but neither deny it.
I don't know who's right and what's right.
I see a sparkle, I see a light, I see God and this is all I have!
I don't really know what's real or not, who's lying or not, who cares about who
and not even it's about me.
This project I want to help an entire planet and I don't want anything except love.