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I am so glad I'm not the only one who laughed @blockurator. I wrote my comment and scrolled through all the others and thought I'd been mean!

A quick update on the update: I did the same thing with a Habanero pepper (thin slices on a ham/cheese/tomato bagel sandwich) I did't have to take any off or get the hiccups. The tongue is handling it very well, the flavour was good, and my lips are on FIRE! Perhaps proper eating technique would help that and habanero is the right heat for me in this medium.

Yah man I figured there would be a funny story to tell and my agony can be pretty damn entertaining I know. I scratched an eyelash 5 hours later after washing my hands and still burned pretty nice.

Serious peppers! Only gonna hurt twice.

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