Writing Contest Entry #2 — Sound in the DarknesssteemCreated with Sketch.

in #soundinthedarkness6 years ago (edited)

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They told me never to go to a temple late at night. They told me never to whistle at night. They told me never to make fun of the ghosts. I never cared, I always did exactly the opposite of what people said. Few days ago I secretly went to an old temple very late at night, why? because I enjoy that creepy silence you can only feel in a temple when nobody is there and it's dark outside. But this last time was different, I felt I wasn't alone in the temple, I felt like someone was watching me, I felt like someone was bothered by my presence. I was filled with unease but I still wanted to enjoy my night there so I started to look around to see if someone was there too. Nobody was there but that loud sound of silence that I love so much was there, louder than ever. I checked everywhere for over thirty minutes and couldn't find anything, that sound weirdly enough was still there without a pause. I became very agitated, also because it was a very dark night, no stars, no moon, no nothing. I could have left but I decided to stay, that silence sound kept me there. It didn't end up being the right decision. I decided to enter a room where they keep the Gods and I sat there just staring at them. That night they felt differently, they kind of felt like they were about to come back to life. It was so dark I could barely see those statues and the sound of silence was even louder. While I was in that room, all of a sudden something touched me, I screamed, my heart was beating fast, a ghost might have touched me I thought but then I realized it was a flying cockroach that just landed on my shoulder. Realizing that actually didn't help, that thing was huge and disgusting. Eventually after few seconds it flew away and when I couldn't see the cockroach anymore I turned around to look at the Gods again. Something was different. At first I couldn't say what changed but after few minutes I realized that one of the Gods wasn't there anymore, it disappeared. I felt my heart going up to my throat, that sound became thunderous, I was never that scared in my entire life so I finally decided to run away. I left that room and but the back door I usually use to get in that temple was suddenly locked. Right after failing to open the door I saw something behind me, it was kind of gray, it was definitely a ghost. It disappeared after few seconds. I started to scream, the whole neighborhood must have heard me but still no-one showed up. By now I was just running like a crazy man, looking for a way out and then all of a sudden I slammed into the missing God statue and lost my senses. At around 5 o clock in the morning, a monk woke me up, he didn't call the police, he thought I was just a drunk guy and without asking me any questions he took me out of the temple. I wanted to talk to him but he refused and said come back to talk to me once you learn to respect the silence. As I was walking back home, still traumatized, I kept thinking about what the monk said. Why did he say that? Why didn't he say something like come back once you respect the Gods? I'll never know, everything seems so surreal now, was that monk also a ghost? All I know is that from now on I'll be respecting everything and I guess that I won't be enjoying that silence sound in the darkness I used to love so much.


This my entry for this writing contest https://steemit.com/soundinthedarkness/@jeezzle/writing-contest-what-s-that-sound-in-the-darkness

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For my first writing contest entry

Writing contest entry #1

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I enjoyed the story. I thought you were going to wake up and it was all a dream.
Can I give you some constructive criticism? You are getting it anyway. :-) You should write your story in paragraphs instead of leaving it in one big paragraph. It will be neater and easier to read. It would also gain you more points in the competition.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for your suggestion, I'll do that next time.

Very nice. Nice action, good tone, great pace.

Thank you, happy to hear that you liked it

You actually got my heart pumping and my hair to stand on end. Great story and good luck to you.

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it

I was literally feel everything and I am waiting for your next post. Please write an scary one. My best part was" I decided to enter a room where they keep the Gods and I sat there just staring at them. That night they felt differently, they kind of felt like they were about to come back to life."

Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it

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