I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone

During our childhood days, we were too excited to grow up just to escape the childhood things our parents want us to experience. We were sick of hearing our mothers let us sleep every afternoon that we wished to go to school a little faster. We hated our parents being the ones to decide for what is right and what is wrong for us that we wanted to turn 18 so much. We hated being forced to eat nasty food because for them those are what would make us healthy. We wanted to let them know that we can be independent and that we can do things on our own.

I just realized that those childhood wishes were those words that we’d hope we never spoke of. I just realize how much time were wasted in our childhood in wishing to get older. How I wished I just told myself back then to stay little. To never grow up. To just stay simple. I hoped I wished later in life to get older and to take my own shot. I could have took my time listening to my mom’s bedtime stories. I should have enjoyed a little more those times when we’d dance around the room until I get tired and fall asleep. I should have memorized every song that my dad sings to us every after dinner. I could have just paid attention to how it sounded like when my dad gets home.

Now that I’m older, I should have ascertained that the people around me are also aging. I should have not let my mother worry about how I should deal with my new school. I shouldn’t have complained a lot of how I felt so unloved by my parents. I shouldn’t have let my father worry if I had taken my meal on time. I could’ve just hugged and kissed them more. I could have just told them how I love them more frequently. I could have just not try to grow up. How I wished I just stayed so little. I wanted to go back when I can go running at my mother everytime I get hurt.

As a grown up, a lot of things have burned me. Numerous people have broken my heart. A lot of people left me scarred. Now, I’m on my own and it is strangely colder than it could have been. It is funny how I am the only person who’d try to tuck myself up and turn the lights off. I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone. And as I try to get myself to sleep, I realized that all I can do is to reminisce about my beautiful childhood memories and bring them along as I continue my journey.

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