Austerity cops

I was minding my own business committing crime and also pretending to look for jobs. Jobs didn't exist, but we pretended to look anyway. It was kind of like Santa Claus; you got in on the lie to stop the children (young people) from committing suicide because of how depressing and horrible their lives were going to be, and the fact that it would only continually get worse at an exponential rate.
So there I was committing crime when a child and a fat man in costumes harassed me. They tried to explain their authority to me, but with cuts and austerity I couldn't see it. All I saw was a child in a costume too big for him, and a fat man in a costume. I slapped the child and punched the fat man in the stomach.
I then shouted "Fuck off! And bother someone who wants to play your game of cops and robbers you pathetic children with nothing better to do! Go bother some ethnics and lock them up if that's what you are into so much you wee shite bags!"
The fat man was rolling on the ground in government mandated fatness, and the child in costume was half crying when he said "but we're austerity cops!"

@RiskDebonair
Irish Writer, Poet, & Lover