Personal Story of an Open Relationship, Pt. 1
Usually, when people hear you're in an open relationship, they ask one of two questions. If they're polite, the question is "How did y'all decide to do this?" If they're not polite they ask, "How can your husband let you have sex with other people?" The answer to both questions are more complicated than not, so I'll save the second one for another day. So...
"How did y'all decide to do this?"
I wish I could say that my husband-to-be and I sat down and had a serious heart-to-heart conversation about marriage styles and decided that monogamy was not for us. But if life is a narrative, it's rarely outlined in advance. Ben and I settled for default monogamy like many a couple, and it worked for us for several years. In fact, if not for an odd series of events, our relationship would still be closed.I had never had sex with anyone besides my husband Ben, and he had only had a single one-night stand, so we were both sexual newbies. Whether that has any relevance to our open relationship is up for debate.
We were engaged for four years and married for two when the turning point occurred. I had to get up very early for work, and Ben is a natural night owl, so we usually crossed paths for a few minutes every morning. I was in the kitchen making breakfast when he looked at me with a halfway guilty look. "I need to tell you something." I thought it might have to do with him going to a bar during the night and spending too much money on beer, so I wasn't too concerned. Then he said, "I went home with someone last night."
Even at this point my interest wasn't really piqued. He often made random friends at the bar and spent the night at their place in lieu of driving home drunk. I asked him if this was the case.
It wasn't.
He had gone to a man's house and given him a blowjob.
I would have expected to feel betrayed, or angry, or even bewildered. But I wasn't. I was extremely turned on. In fact, my exact words were "If I didn't have to go to work right now, I'd totally bone you." Not exactly the most elegant turn of phrase, but at the time I wasn't planning on this becoming a story.
Ben eventually became good friends with a gay man in his late 40s. We would go over to his house and sometimes they would fuck while I flipped channels on the TV or read a book. Or tried to read a book. The noises I heard coming from the bedroom were insanely arousing. After a time, Ben, his friend, and I would occasionally do MMF threesomes, with the friend and I rarely crossing figurative swords. Ben was the unashamed center of our pleasuring.
@eatpraysex
Good Post!
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks. (Sorry it took so long to get back to you, I just returned from out the country.) I'm debating whether to keep the story general or get into the specifics -- not to be titillating, but to be honest about the whole experience. What do you think?
Loving this - and I agree very similar things we are faced with in our relationship, except it wasnt talked about to much before it happened, but boy I'm happy it did happen!