Sex and Power

Typically I cannot help but laugh upon the observation of a profound irony. But the ironic nature of what I am about to share with you today provokes me not to laugh, but sooner to cry.

To put it plainly; sex is changing. There's always been a fraction of the population that were more inclined towards perverse types of sex, but in recent years, thanks to the glorification of the perverse on our television screens, as well as the psychological effects of selfie culture, that fraction is quickly becoming a majority.

I'm not here to pass judgement upon what two consenting adults decide to do together behind closed doors, and it would be hypocritical of me to do so anyway. I would just like to share with you all a realisation that I came to some time ago, and that has largely changed my opinion on sex and on power.

I wasn't going to write about this until I saw a recent Kanye West music video that I imagine many of you are familiar with. The song is called "I Love It" and unfortunately I am not shocked to tell you that I was able to view this video a moment ago without even signing into YouTube, meaning that it is available for children to view.

When I first seen this video, I was with my brother, and I said to him that I bet you many who watch this video will not even notice the faceless women on the sides on the screen, naked and bound, made to look like objects. He disagreed, but a look through the comments revealed I was right.

I recognised this straight away as yet more conditioning for the perverse types of sex I mentioned before hand, only this time, being subliminally introduced into the subconscious minds of men, women and children who aren't even aware of it. It was somewhat heartbreaking to realise that with more videos like this, being watched by young girls and boys around the world, within another decade or two, loving and affectionate sex will be a rarity if existent at all, and the perverse, "power" driven sex will be all that remains.

Now as I said beforehand, if two (or more) consenting parties want to indulge in kinky BDSM-type sex then I'm not here to tell you that you shouldn't. But, I do want to tell you that the power aspect of this type of sex is a lie. Having a woman pretend you're a Master or a Lord or a Knight, and demanding that she address you as such, doesn't make you a Master a Lord or a Knight, for you're not. And I quite frankly wonder why anyone would want to be. The people who have held such titles historically have been cunts for the most part.

And indulging in such fantasies may at the time make you feel powerful, but it is a power that will leave you once the session is over and you have to face the reality that you are in fact just a person who has little control over your life, which is likely what made the appeal so tempting in the first place.

Tying another human being up and having your way with them, may seem like an act of power, but again, it isn't. It's ironically a demonstration of weakness. The true power lies in overcoming the temptation to do such things which were instilled within you by your environment, your historical traumas or your lack of belief in your own ability to make decisions for yourself.

The same goes for rapists(not to paint the two with the same brush, however), which do seem to be growing in number, though perhaps not to the extent that the news would have us believe. We're told, and it makes sense too, that rape is an act of power. But I believe that once again, in most cases, rape is an act of supreme weakness. Power is seized in one's overcoming of temptation, and the decision not to act upon impulses that we know are wrong. Lacking such power to the extent you would be willing to permanently traumatise another human being for a momentary feeling of pleasure is beyond weak. It's tragically feeble.

But putting rape aside, as it is far rarer than consensual BDSM between consenting adults; the point I am hoping to make here is that you should not believe the falsely propagated sentiment that Bondage and Discipline, or Sadism and Masochism, is about power. It is not. It's always been about weakness. It's about lacking the strength to look upon the one you're with as a human being, as opposed to an object. And it's about lacking the will to overcome perverse desires that you innately understand to be an unnatural means of finding and giving pleasure.

So the next time you fancy yourself sexual dominant ready to take full advantage of your submissive (as if that is what dominance means at all); ask yourself if that will truly provide you with any power. Or will it just make you feel weaker as a human being any time your clothes are on? Then try and summon the strength to say, "no, I am not going to fuck you like you're an object. I'm going to make love to you as a human being," and see if the power you seized in overcoming that temptation doesn't stay with you after you have sex, and translate into will power that allows you to overcome more temptations that aren't even about sex.

I've probably wasted my time with this post. The world is too far gone. Snapchat and Instagram models have already taught all our men that women are just blow up sex toys with fake bodies and faces, and no personalities- because who needs one of those? With so many women actively promoting only the aesthetic parts of their being, it's no surprise that men would look upon them as nothing more than objects that exist to provide pleasure. But if even one person reads this at some time in the future and decides not to play at power, but instead to seize the real thing, then I shall call it time well spent.