TO THE BROKENHEARTED (Part 2): A LETTER TO MY FOOLISH SELF

I was fixing my clutter in the attic when a dusty-old notebook fell over my feet. As I looked at it, I thought I've always been familiar to its distinct covering remembering I used to run my fingers on its pages. I picked "the thingy". Then I realized I had been talking to myself those dark days.

(This is my continuation to my recent post TTB Part 1)

Dear Self,

You've come a long way here in this foreign country for certain reasons, to move on and start a new life.

You've been hurt so much by this btch that made your life turn upside-down, you've been to a worst conflict with your family because of your maladaptive measures of coping, you've lost your job in your homecountry because of your mistakes at work caused by depression, you even put yourself into danger several times, you experienced way too much pain from other circumstances that stained your mind and soul.*

On the process, you were having a hard time getting over your ex and his new girlfriend. You've still been stalking them on social media over several months now. You are literally lunatic. You blocked him out of anger then after a week you unblocked him to see what he's up to. You kept on reminiscing your past and then blaming yourself for loving the wrong person.

And meanwhile, you were struggling here in this another country because of unhealthy working environment. You were dealing another hardships here by yourself. You're facing another chapter of your life righht now and I guess there's no room for that "past" of yours to occupy your "present".

When you are secretly grieving until now right after you stalk him, I want you to think why you really came here in the first place. Why you've come up with the idea of leaving everything behind including your family when you had all the support of your true friends and your parents to move on. Look how deep the Pain is. You couldn't stand staying there and seeing the remorseless cheater with another woman .. so you left.

PLEASE AT THIS TIME, MAKE YOUR SACRIFICES ALL WORTH IT. Don't let your suffering be useless. Living here in this new environment and being an expat here must lead you into a better and fully-recovered person. Not a wandering Zombie.

Forget him. Forgive him. If forgiveness is definitely not for him then do this for yourself.

Let go of your pent up anger towards him. Let go of all the good and bad memories you had with that person. Forget the things that remind you of how much you love him and how much he loved you in return. Stop travelling back to your past by listening to old songs. Stop associating your present experiences to the past memories.

Start building yourself into a stronger and more motivated person than you ever were.

BE BOLD THIS TIME AND MAKE A SIGNIFICANT CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE.

Help yourself out. Change if you have to. But never change your innate good qualities because that's who you are. Don't be bad because someone else has done you bad.

I hope this will be the last time that you'll ever think about him.

You might have been looking at his pictures to desensitize yourself and get used to the pain until it hurts no more. But you have to consider your mental health.

We both know the PAIN RESURFACES ANYTIME. It keeps coming back everytime you see him online, isn't it?

Your way of desensitization is never an effective coping mechanism for your loss. BECAUSE YOU ARE THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO NEVER EASILY MOVES ON A HEARTBREAK. Remember when it took you a very long time before you eventually detached yourself mentally from the memories of your first relationship.

The stalking has to end now Self. Stop being a fool of yourself. Please. Preserve your self-esteem this time. Love yourself more than you ever did.

If thinking about him is inevitable, take those memories as lessons for your positive growth. Stop thinking the could hav's and should hav's.

Instead of waiting or seeking for another person to fill your emptiness, why not focus on youself first. Do everything you love and enjoy doing. Relive your past hobbies you have no longer done in a long while and Pursue your goals you've been putting off when you were in a relationship. Start pursuing for a better future before its too late and then another person shows up who may change your life forever.

About to whip your head,
The Remaining "YOU"

To the one reading this and who's broken, you'll get through this😊

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